( text; ) Karkat is the one that fell down a hole this time

[starspangledhero]

OKAY SO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW EVERYONE GOT COOL STUFF AFTER THE THOUGHT FISHIES WENT AWAY AND I HAD TO PUNCH A SHARK AND HOW I GOT A MUSTANG (LIKE THE ACTUAL HORSE NOT THE CAR)??? WELL I DID! BUT IT WAS WILD SO I HAD TO BREAK IT IN. AND I FINALLY MANAGED IT WITH ONLY A COUPLE KICKS TO THE EVERYTHING.

CAN'T USE SHIFT CAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE I BROKE MY HAND CLEANING HIS HOOVES. TYPING WITH THE OTHER.

OH AND I GOT SOME COOL OUTFITS TOO! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ALL OF THEM ARE BUT ONE HAS A WHIP AND A HAT AND ANOTHER LOOKS LIKE A POLICE UNIFORM AND A SPOOKY ONE AND A COUPLE OTHERS. I LOOK REALLY GOOD IN THEM!

GUYS MY HAND LOOKS REALLY GROSS LOOK AT THIS:

HOLD ON I'M HAVING TROUBLE TURNING ON VID

( video; english )

--oh, there we go!

[ America grins, then turns the video to his hand. It's swollen, one of the fingers is blackened, and the nail has fallen off. He has to show everyone his gross injuries always. He turns it back to himself; he's wearing his Indiana Jones outfit, minus the hat. ]

Sick, right? I'm gonna splint it up and stuff, so hopefully it won't take too long to heal! And then I can get to work making a saddle to fit him and Namine's pony! The plains should be thawed enough to graze them this spring. Man, I'm excited to finally get to ride again!

And if anyone has some pain meds or anything, that'd be cool.

[ America gives a thumbs up with his non-broken hand before shutting off the video. ]

Comments

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[starspangledhero]

I'll only beat you. I'm the hegemon, after all. Plus I don't wanna beat up a kid, but I can totally subdue you if I've gotta.

Not unless he's lisping things like "wot" and "cheerio" and "wanker" and "bloody hell."

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[starspangledhero]

Upstairs! [ HE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE, ERIDAN. Actually it's not that hard, all the troll kids live on the first floor. Kinda hard to miss them. ]

Wanker is really English! It's one of the most British words out there!

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[starspangledhero]

You can come over and I'll beat you as soon as Japan's gone, 'kay?

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[starspangledhero]

He's my friend! I haven't hung out with him in a while so I figured I'd have him make me food and we could chill.

Room 202! Don't mess anything up though, or I'll get pissed.

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[starspangledhero]

He's been making me food for centuries. And way before you ever showed up here!

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[starspangledhero]

I'll ask him, but he's just gonna say "America-san is the best friend I've ever had even though I'm all imperialist and creepy at the moment, and I'll always make him all the food he wants! Except for World War II, but then I'll get better again and resume the foodings!"

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[starspangledhero]

Okay! But I'm telling ya, he's gonna side with me! ...I think...

[ sob 1940 ]

Yeah, he totally is about the food thing!

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[A little while later, you have someone beating on your door. Violently.]

[starspangledhero]

Geeze, hold on, hold on!

[ opening the door and-- wow he's already forgotten about Eridan.

are you sure you're british and not canadian? ]

Hey there?

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[ENJOY THE GUN BEING SWUNG AT YOU AMERICA.

TO MERI WITH LOVE, ERI.]

[starspangledhero]

[ OW HIS HEAD. ]

OW WHAT THE FUCK.

[ PICKING ERI UP BY HIS SHIRT WITH THE NON HURT HAND. ]

WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?! THE ONLY THING YOU'RE MAKING IS ME ANGRY!

[ and now he's going to have a headache, but really, this guy wanders around after a gunshot to the head. it's not like head injuries are anything new. ]

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[Picking up Eridan did nothing but make the wee babby troll flail around and try to punch and or kick you in the face America. He is super pissed off too!!! but without the pain.]

[starspangledhero]

NO I DIDN'T! WHEN DID I ASK YOU TO PUNCH ME WITH A...

[ Ignoring the babby flailing and occasional hits to the face. He just frowns and holds Eridan further away. The gun catches his eye and he stares curiously. ]

What's that?

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[HE POINTS IT AT AMERICA'S HEAD.]

[starspangledhero]

[ He stares for a moment. And he does indeed drop Eridan!

Except, in under a second, he draws a pistol and fires it so close to Eridan's head that he probably felt the air whoosh by.

.6 SECOND QUICK DRAW, BABY.

And America just grins. ]

You gotta be faster than that.

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[Eridan shuts up when the bullet whooshes by his head. Oh god, he's going to die by the hands of another country. Oh god oh god ALL THE COUNTRIES ARE CRAZY. Except Holland. Holland's cool cause he built a boat.

if Eridan was two sweeps old, he would maybe have peed his pants.]

[starspangledhero]

No I'm not!

[ He keeps on grinning (like a lunatic, obviously) and holsters the gun casually. ]

This mean I win, or do I gotta pistol whip you? 'Cause I can do that really fast too!

[lonelyglub.livejournal.com]

[but ERIDAN, not willing to back down, raises his rifle from off the ground, aims at America's foot and holds the trigger]