starspangledhero | ( video ) America: Greet the new arrival to the embassy

Entry tags:

!discedo

( video ) America: Greet the new arrival to the embassy

[ America pops up, all smiles as usual. The camera shakes a bit as he moves up the stairs to his apartment. ]

Yeesh, usually I check in more than this, but you know how it goes: busy taking down vicious beasts, throwing birthday parties, saving the city, the usual! Ah, hold on...

[ He fumbles in his pocket for a key, opening his door... ]

So earlier I had this really good idea for-!

[ This is promptly cut off by a scream. It is the scream of someone who is now witnessing their precious pet dog(dragonwolfmonsterhellbeast) being eviscerated and eaten. Actually, here, have a quick view of the scene while America presses himself against the wall: ...why, it's only Nepeta enjoying a meal consisting of monster meat! What's so terrible about that?

Fucking everything, damn it. That blood splatter on the floor was his pet. How would you feel if someone ate your dog? Not too hot. Even if the creature eating your pet happens to be a cute little troll girl who, at the moment, looks a bit like a pet who just got caught doing something they shouldn't. The irony of this situation continues to mount. ]

PUPPY, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! OHMYGOD IT'S EATING MY DOG!

[ Cue more incoherent screaming as he grapples for his shotgun. Amidst his struggling, the communicator switches off.

If you are in Marshall, you can probably hear his screaming. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah! Now if only the People in Charge will give me what I actually want for a change, that'd be great.

[ I have no idea how strong the battery acid beer is, but I'm assuming it's not as bad as shots. Getting drunk could take him a while. ]

Hmmm, probably something awesome! Like "Atomic Shots" or "Fuck Communism"!

[ I would totally drink anything called "fuck communism." ]

So, that's a regular thing and not just something they do for Christmas? Ha ha!

[Awww, I don't know if sucking his own blood will still make Tatsumi drunk with his chip in or what but there is always bending time and space or saving it for another time.]

I bet "Atomic Shots" is probably already been done. You're much safer and more original with "Fuck Communism!"

[I'd try that! Hell ya!]

Yeah I mean, you can ask 'em for stuff, but usually you just end up with something not as good as what ya wanted.

[ Bending time and space is surprisingly doable for America. I will have to revisit this idea when I'm not falling over due to sleeping pills. ]

"Fuck Communism" it is, then! It'll get ya drunk and it's politically activist!

Ha ha! I'm going to have to test that out on my own. There are a few things I'd like to have.

I want to be the first to try it!! Ya have to let me! I could advertise it for ya too!

[Not like they'd need it in discedo]

Edited 2011-01-22 06:09 (UTC)

Me too, I gotta get back to askin'. And of course you'll be the first to try! You can be my advertising manager!

[ THUMBS UP. He just. Assigns random jobs to people as he sees fit. ]

Ya? I'm pretty good with talking to people and stuff. I won't let ya down!

[Tatsumi gives a salute just before chasing it with some more beer. The more he drinks the more he actually is able to feel the burn of alcohol as it begins to work. It was a nostalgic feeling he hadn't had in quite some time, ever since he had been turned into a werewolf. Drinking was fun again and may be the only good thing to having the chip again]

Good!

[ America takes another drink before turning to Tatsumi. ]

Hey, thanks again for having me over. Kinda been a weird night, and I'm definitely feeling better.

[ He reaches out to grab Tatsumi's hand gently. There is music playing in his head at this moment because that's what happens in the movies. And because this is Hetalia, where literally eating the punch line is canon.

His happy little grin falls a bit when he realizes it's that song from The Graduate. FUCK. WRONG ROMANCE MOVIE.

He gives up after he starts hearing Celine Dion. TITANIC HASN'T EVEN BEEN MADE YET. ]

Man I'm having an off day.

[Tatsumi gives the nation's hand a reassuring squeeze]

Ya! You look better now too. So, don't mention it. I'm sure you'd do the same if something went down over here. Though, I doubt Toku is going to give me any problems... unless something comes to eat his hamsters.

[He tilts his heads towards the fuzzballs across the room before going for more beer of both the dark and root kinds.]

I had a few of those when I first got here. Broke my nose, even! Ha ha!

[Oh, how he hated being beaten up by not only a old woman, but a BLIND old woman at it! Then turned around and got punched in the eye by a kid.]

'Course I'd help ya out! That's what dates do! More importantly, that's what heroes do.

[ He offers a wink and a grin. I'm now imagining Tatsumi getting beaten up by the old voodoo woman in Princess and the Frog. Anyway.

America throws a glance to the hamsters across the room. ]

...You ate hamsters?

[Tatsumi blinks back before bursting into laughter]

Ha ha ha! No! I- I meant-

[Ok, give him a few seconds to stop laughing.]

I had a few "off days" when I first got here.

Edited 2011-01-22 08:49 (UTC)

Oh! Ohhhh.

[ America starts laughing himself. Silly him, he should've known that hamsters wouldn't be a substantial meal. They're tinier than burgers! ]

Okay okay, that's understandable! First while is always the worst.

[That and they barely have any blood in them. He'd starve either way. Actually, he is starting to ponder if he should tell America or not.]

Things are turning around for me, I think. Maybe they will for you too, ya?

Yeah! Things always get better!

[ THE OPTIMISM IS BACK. ]

[He takes another sip from his drinks before sighing, still smiling.]

You know, I should probably tell you before we become good friends and all...

... I'm not human, ya know.

You're not?

[ America would be more shocked if his daughter wasn't a former empty shell of a human being, if he wasn't up to his eyeballs in troll kids, and if he didn't live with an alien. ]

What are ya then?

A vampire.

[He says it ever so nonchalantly before taking another swig of beer]

[ Blink.

Blink.

Stare. ]

COOOOLLLL!

Ya! It is! Normally.

You know, most people don't take finding out their date is a vampire too well. Ha ha!

[He wraps an arm around America, all smiles. Either America is really gullible and stupid or he's Gullible and ignorant. yay~]

[ Gullible and ignorant fo sho sob. That and VAMPIRE FASCINATION. ]

A year ago I might've been weirded out, but now it's like I'm meeting werepires left and right and it's okay! A lot has happened and if I can stand to be around a ghost kid without screaming my throat raw, I can handle dating a vampire!

Werepires? Ha ha! I've never heard of that before!

[This was all very reassuring, if Tatsumi actually were a normal person and was worried about things like impressions on a personal level. No, it's all business and game. He leans in close to America's neck, purposely]

Good... because I've been wondering what you taste like.

[ Hope Tatsumi wasn't expecting some sort of blustering, because America's wearing his usual cocky grin.

And yes, he mentally just said "that's what she said." ]

If the rest of me is anything to go by, I'm gonna guess pretty freaking fantastic.

[No, your mom.]

Does that mean I can take a bite?

[Tatsumi's lips are right against America's neck now while his fingers hold the nation's collar aside]

[ YOUR FACE. ]

What d'ya think I am? A wuss? Hah! I can take it! Just don't drain me, bro. Need some juice to get back home.

[ officially the weirdest hickey America will ever receive. ]

[Oh no you dinnint!]

Don't worry. I know you have your daughter to get home to. Maybe it'll even help you relax, ya?

[Honestly he planned to drain America but he is about to learn the hard way that plans around America just never work. He brings a hand up to hold America's neck and head while the fangs slid out from behind his teeth. He bites, puncturing the nation's neck and drawing out the crimson liquid.

But the taste Tatsumi gets isn't of the normal red metallic flavoring. No, it's as though someone took a vanilla ice cream, coated it around a hamburger, and blended it with lots and lots of food coloring. He barely drinks a cup worth before pulling away, not sure if he likes it or not. It definitely wasn't what he was expecting. The werepire even leaves a bit of blood around the corner of his mouth as he stares blankly at the nation.

What the hell was that?]

[Action!!!] AMERICAN FLAG x (☞•∀•)☞

[Action!!!] *stares @ forever*

[Action!!!] *stares back* ∂∆∂

[Action!!!] *STARES 4freakingever* ◕ ω ◕

[Action!!!] ohgod what is that face

[Action!!!] My face while tagging with you. That's what.

[Action!!!] I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD BE FLATTERED OR HORRIFIED. horriflattered?

[Action!!!] o_o Horriflattered is a good term... *writes this down*

[Action!!!] I need to start using it now that I've actually thought of it.

[Action!!!] AHHHHHHH WHY- HOW ARE THOSE EYES-- W-WHAT!?!

[Action!!!] ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha /breathes

[Action!!!] *CRIIIIES* ... actually, they're going to the shakers in the music im listening to. lmao

[Action!!!] they're watching you and your music.

[Action!!!] Only going to BREAK BREAK YOUR- BREAK BREAK YOUR EMOTE!

[Action!!!] Only going to BREAK BREAK YOUR- BREAK BREAK YOUR EMOTE!

[Action!!!]

1/2 [Action!!!]

[Action!!!]

[Action!!!]

[Action!!!]

[Action!!!]

[Action!!!]

[Action!!!]

[Action!!!]

[Action!!!]

[Action!!!] stares @ forever

[Action!!!] stares back ∂∆∂

[Action!!!] STARES 4freakingever ◕ ω ◕

[Action!!!] o_o Horriflattered is a good term... writes this down

[Action!!!] CRIIIIES ... actually, they're going to the shakers in the music im listening to. lmao