starspangledhero | [voice; english]

So my embassy's trashed, the city's under attack, and everything is in total chaos once again. ...Well alright then!

[ America sounds almost chipper. Insane, stupidly brave, or downright heroic? Answer: all three. It is now time, once again, for America's capslock speak. ]

ALL AMERICANS, GRAB SOME GUNS AND EITHER HEAD TO THE HIGH SCHOOL OR FOLLOW ME! STAY ALIVE, STAY BRAVE, AND DON'T DRINK THE WATER. CHECK IN WITH ME AS SOON AS YA CAN SO I KNOW YOU'RE OKAY.

OTHER COUNTRIES NOT AS COOL AS ME? REPORT IN SO YOU CAN BE MY BACK UP! WE'RE GONNA HOLD A DEFENSIVE LINE AROUND wait which building has the most people in it? That one!

Russia, today is the day I start hating you a little less if ya do as I tell ya! By the way, I'm gonna tell ya to jump in front of me and absorb all the blows while I sneak around and save the day. It's a flawless plan that's worked before and it'll work again. Hey, how well do these things get past barbed wire and stakes? Someone who isn't me, go set those up around the doors and windows to wherever you're holed up!

I found Puppy and I need someone to take in her and Banjo and my stuff for me while I save the day. This is going to suck without air support, but I'll manage somehow!

[ America then does some weird battle cry. He has no idea what he's doing. If he can manage to get a group together, he'll stupidly try to SHOOT 'EM IN THE HEAD. If not... well he's still doing that, but he'll end up far more battered and probably fall into a hole unconscious. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He's my protector and one of my best friends. He's been there for almost my whole life.

... But he has a girlfriend, if that's what you mean.

[ SIGH OF RELIEF ]

Yeah, good. [ I AM NOT HAVING HIM FOR A SON-IN-LAW. ]

America!

He's a nice guy. He just gets concerned for me a lot.

He blamed me when you got eaten by a demon. He's a little jerk. Take it from me, you can do better!

...So what happened in the past?

He's just... protective of me.

Well, he... he was my knight. He was made just to protect me. I got hurt at one point, and he needed help to save me, but... I think he still worries a lot about me and wants to keep me safe.

He's a bit creepy obsessive.

[ ... ] Is he a robot?

No, he's not a robot, he's... a replica. A fake person, modeled after someone else.

None of us were really born... I mean, no Nobody is "born" with a mother and father. We're born of the darkness in people's hearts.

...What. Is he a pod person? [ Well great now he thinks Riku's something out of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. ]

That's... depressing. Countries, we're born outta people and ideas, but not darkness. Except Russia. He's a special case.

[ Now time to be a worried dad ] That doesn't have a lasting effect on ya, does it?

... Pod person? I don't know what that is, but he... he was created. I don't know how... Vexen used the darkness to make him, I think. I'm not sure.

Well... Vexen always told me I was a "special case", because my Somebody-- Kairi, she didn't have any darkness in her heart. I wasn't supposed to exist. He said I was born from her feelings for Sora.

So he is a pod person... What's a Vexen?

[ GIVE HIM A SEC. TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT. ] Soooo... you were made outta love? Wow, Nobodies are way more confusing than nations.

Vexen is the name of another Nobody. He was a scientist, before he was killed.

W-Well, I don't know! He's gone now, so I guess I won't ever get to ask him... Nobodies are all created sort of differently.

Oh. ...What kind of scientists? Did he know anything about nuclear arms?

That's really confusing.

Uhm... I don't think so. They created the original Nobodies from themselves, because they were doing experiments on the heart.

It is. I've never completely understood it.

Boo. Well, probably a good thing he doesn't know then. He'd just mess it all up and everyone would get radiation poisoning and die.

So would ya consider yourself human and all now? Now that you're all, uh, not Nobody.

Radiation poisoning? What's that?

Well... I got a heart from Ace over a year ago. So I guess I'm human now... it's weird to think about.

Something that happens after you're exposed to radiation-- er, like nuclear bombs and stuff. You get burns and really sick and... you can die.

And you age normal, right?

... Oh. That sounds really scary. You countries use those things?

I guess so. I've never thought about aging, but... now that you mention it, my old dress doesn't really fit like it used to. I think I'm a little taller now.

Not all! Only the most powerful countries have 'em-- like me! And Russia, unfortunately.

You can borrow some of England's pants! You'd fit into them! [ ENGLAND WILL BE LEFT PANTLESS BY THE END OF THE YEAR. ]

They sound dangerous! Especially if you and Russia have them and start fighting... You think? Are you sure he'd be alright with it?

Yeah... [ But America won't go into full details right now because that is a serious talk for another day. ]

Sure he would! I borrow his pants all the time!

You can fit into his pants? I thought he was smaller than you.

I had... difficulties.

[ they ripped 8( ]

[voice; english]

[voice; lol of course not. us southerners are proud of our crap]

[voice; yeahhhhh gators and explosions]

[voice; FUCKYEEEEEAH gators. You have no idea how crazy it gets during mating season, oh man.]

[voice; every time I go to Florida and I see a pond, I think "there is a gator in there"]

[voice; you're probably right, tbh]

[voice; I'm not exaggerating. Every single one. AND I'M STILL PROBABLY RIGHT.]

[voice; probably. also THIS IS NOT LATE]

[voice]

Re: [voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice] how have we managed to keep this thread going for longer than a month

[voice] talent

[voice] talent

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]