✪ America

[The video clicks on to a very shaky camera. America's tongue is sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he fiddles with adjusting the communicator juuuuust right. He succeeds! He leans back, hands on his hips (in a very heroic fashion, mind you), clutching a rope and dressed in nothing but his pants and a T-shirt. He shoots the camera the biggest, most nauseatingly handsome shit-eating grin you've ever seen.]

There! Got it. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness something awesome. A true trademark of the American spirit--! Oh shit it's moving, okay guys, bear with me hereI'llberightbackTHISISGONNABESOKICKASS!

[Aaaaaand he bolts away from the camera. For the longest time, there's nothing to see but an empty expanse of dirt, rubble, and distant trees.

...Still nothing. Anyone still watching?

Stiiiiiiillll nothing-- oh, wait. Is that the sound of hoofbeats and loud yelling? Why, I believe it is! And it's getting closer. The sounds get louder and louder until...]

( shut up I made an effort to illustrate this )