( text; ) Karkat is the one that fell down a hole this time

[starspangledhero]

OKAY SO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW EVERYONE GOT COOL STUFF AFTER THE THOUGHT FISHIES WENT AWAY AND I HAD TO PUNCH A SHARK AND HOW I GOT A MUSTANG (LIKE THE ACTUAL HORSE NOT THE CAR)??? WELL I DID! BUT IT WAS WILD SO I HAD TO BREAK IT IN. AND I FINALLY MANAGED IT WITH ONLY A COUPLE KICKS TO THE EVERYTHING.

CAN'T USE SHIFT CAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE I BROKE MY HAND CLEANING HIS HOOVES. TYPING WITH THE OTHER.

OH AND I GOT SOME COOL OUTFITS TOO! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ALL OF THEM ARE BUT ONE HAS A WHIP AND A HAT AND ANOTHER LOOKS LIKE A POLICE UNIFORM AND A SPOOKY ONE AND A COUPLE OTHERS. I LOOK REALLY GOOD IN THEM!

GUYS MY HAND LOOKS REALLY GROSS LOOK AT THIS:

HOLD ON I'M HAVING TROUBLE TURNING ON VID

( video; english )

--oh, there we go!

[ America grins, then turns the video to his hand. It's swollen, one of the fingers is blackened, and the nail has fallen off. He has to show everyone his gross injuries always. He turns it back to himself; he's wearing his Indiana Jones outfit, minus the hat. ]

Sick, right? I'm gonna splint it up and stuff, so hopefully it won't take too long to heal! And then I can get to work making a saddle to fit him and Namine's pony! The plains should be thawed enough to graze them this spring. Man, I'm excited to finally get to ride again!

And if anyone has some pain meds or anything, that'd be cool.

[ America gives a thumbs up with his non-broken hand before shutting off the video. ]

Comments

[starspangledhero]

[ I love Red vs. Blue *w* ]

I understand there's nothing about either of those outfits that says you like vaginas.

Seriously.

How do you like anything but dick, man.

[totallygay]

[Wow.
That.
Was.
Cold.

Tatsumi's eyelids sink until only a sliver of yellow can be seen under his bushy eyebrows. The shadow cast by the hoodie only emphasizes his glare.]

I could always cheat on ya... to prove ya wrong.

1/2

[starspangledhero]

[ America is a douche THIS IS ESTABLISHED FACT.

Of course, he doesn't realize he just said something wrong, so he's utterly surprised to hear that. ]

You wouldn't! I'm the best there is! Even a girl wouldn't compare to me!

[starspangledhero]

[ He still doesn't understand what he did wrong, so as the moment passes, he just looks more and more hurt. ]

...You wouldn't!

[ If only this was the only thing he had to worry about with this relationship. ]

[totallygay]

[OOOohh ho ho ho. Tatsumi found a button to press. What's worse is he LIKES pressing buttons. So, he grins.]

Ya?

[starspangledhero]

[ AMERICA SEES NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS SITUATION 8( ]

Yeah!

[totallygay]

[It's because he is so insecure]

Oh, but I could.

I mean, I did kiss some girls in this city already. Who's to say they wouldn't enjoy a little further attention? Specially from a man who isn't fashion blind and isn't afraid to show off his build.

[starspangledhero]

No you couldn't! Even if you did like girls, none would go with your stupid pink outfit anyway!

[ Oh yeah. Totally lashing out. And looking on the verge of crying. ]

And if you did you'd never have my blood ever again or even get to touch me and then you'd be left not being loved by anyone and you'd have a world superpower as your pissed ex so you'd better not cheat on me or else.

[ ...sniffle. ]

1/2

[totallygay]

2/2

[totallygay]

[Realizing he might have gone a little too far, Tatsumi tucks away the evil grin for another day and settles for another act. The hoodie comes down and his hair-ears point back to emphasis the scolded puppy look. He looks more crushed than anything.]

I... I didn't really mean it, Alfred-kun. I wouldn't cheat on you like that.

Alfred-kun is so mean and hates my clothes and thinks I care only about his blood...

[Sniffle]

[starspangledhero]

[ They can look crushed together ;w; God these two. ]

You looked like you did!

I only don't like those hoodie things... and I know ya don't just like my blood, 'cause ya smile a lot anyway... but...

[ SNIFFLE, MOTHERFUCKER. ]

[totallygay]

You were the one who kept saying how no woman would get with me. I really could be with a woman and I have been with women before...

[Granted, they all have probobly died afterwards but we'll exclude that small detail.

Sniffle]

B-but why do you hate them so much? They're comfortable and I think you'd look really cute in one if ya tried.

[starspangledhero]

I mean, I guess they could. Want to. I'm just not seeing it happen in that pink thing.

[ SNIFFLE oh god he's probably swallowing the snot. ]

Because they look stupid! I'd rather go naked than wear one!

[ HE JUST KEEPS DIGGING HIMSELF IN A DEEPER HOLE. ]

1/3

[totallygay]

I wouldn't date a woman in this. That's what my other clothes are for! This one is just for fun!!

[EW, AMERICA. STOP FUCKING UP THE CHESAPEAKE BAY!]

2/3

[totallygay]

[Honestly, he couldn't gave a rat's ass what you think but it's all a part of the act... and now his eyes somehow get shinier and the sniffle doesn't help.]

A-Alfred...

I really don't have a sad enough icon...

[totallygay]

[Tatsumi sinks, putting his head on his knees and pulling over his Harley Davidson jacket, that he was GOING to show America, onto his shoulders now in his pity act]

So, you think I'm stupid too.

I guess I just... won't come over anymore.

[starspangledhero]

What?! I didn't say you were stupid! Just the outfit! Don't be sad! It makes me feel all guilty and stuff! Even though I'm totally right...

[ Semi-panic at Tatsumi suggesting such a thing. HE WILL BE MORE DESPERATE AND HEARTBROKEN THAN THE GUY IN 500 DAYS OF SUMMER. ]

No! Why would you do that?! Don't do that!

[totallygay]

I can't help but feel sad. I'm wearing the outfit and I was even saving the other one for you so we could match and stuff...

[He doesn't move. Still sulking]

But you hate it and clearly don't want me around when I wear such stupid things... even though they're comfortable and show off my ass really well.

[starspangledhero]

You said you were gonna cheat on me! That's way worse than thinking one fucking outfit is stupid!

[ sulking as well. he's a little angry, but more worried that Tatsumi will up and leave.

WHY DOES HE SUCK WITH RELATIONSHIPS? ]

I still want you around, stupid outfit or not. Preferably not. But. Can't we just forget about this and go back to being happy?

[totallygay]

I don't call your outfits stupid, even though you seemed to have gone crazy with the tie-dye stuff...

I want you to like it, though!! I think you'd really like it if you saw it in person!!!

[HE JUST WANTS TO TORTURE YOU]

Will you try it on? Just once?! Please?!?! I won't tell anyone or anything!!!

[starspangledhero]

But the tie-dye is colorful!

[ sob. SOBBBBBB. ]

Will you take back all that stuff you said and promise not to cheat on me and be happy again?

[totallygay]

[He nods and nods, sincerely at America's proposal.]

I'll take it ALL back and I'll never even think of cheating on you! Seeing you in it will make me soooo happy!!

[Tatsumi smiles]

We'll even match!!!

[starspangledhero]

...........





Fuck.

FINE.

[totallygay]

[YEEEEEEE! ALL SMILES AND EXCITEMENT!!]

I'm coming over right now!!!

I LOVE YOU~♥!!!!!!

[starspangledhero]

[ America is not. ]

Love ya too, babe.