( text; ) Karkat is the one that fell down a hole this time

[starspangledhero]

OKAY SO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW EVERYONE GOT COOL STUFF AFTER THE THOUGHT FISHIES WENT AWAY AND I HAD TO PUNCH A SHARK AND HOW I GOT A MUSTANG (LIKE THE ACTUAL HORSE NOT THE CAR)??? WELL I DID! BUT IT WAS WILD SO I HAD TO BREAK IT IN. AND I FINALLY MANAGED IT WITH ONLY A COUPLE KICKS TO THE EVERYTHING.

CAN'T USE SHIFT CAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE I BROKE MY HAND CLEANING HIS HOOVES. TYPING WITH THE OTHER.

OH AND I GOT SOME COOL OUTFITS TOO! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ALL OF THEM ARE BUT ONE HAS A WHIP AND A HAT AND ANOTHER LOOKS LIKE A POLICE UNIFORM AND A SPOOKY ONE AND A COUPLE OTHERS. I LOOK REALLY GOOD IN THEM!

GUYS MY HAND LOOKS REALLY GROSS LOOK AT THIS:

HOLD ON I'M HAVING TROUBLE TURNING ON VID

( video; english )

--oh, there we go!

[ America grins, then turns the video to his hand. It's swollen, one of the fingers is blackened, and the nail has fallen off. He has to show everyone his gross injuries always. He turns it back to himself; he's wearing his Indiana Jones outfit, minus the hat. ]

Sick, right? I'm gonna splint it up and stuff, so hopefully it won't take too long to heal! And then I can get to work making a saddle to fit him and Namine's pony! The plains should be thawed enough to graze them this spring. Man, I'm excited to finally get to ride again!

And if anyone has some pain meds or anything, that'd be cool.

[ America gives a thumbs up with his non-broken hand before shutting off the video. ]

Comments

OMG I edited that JUST as u commented. WHOA.

[totallygay]

Women like leopard print as asses too!

Ya! I've got three more...

[He smirks at America's strip fumble and turns to choose which he should show off next before stripping and putting on his furry collar jumper.]

MINDLINK

[starspangledhero]

If ya say so...

[ HE'S STILL PRETTY UNSURE but he's willing to believe it for now. Surely it's just an odd outfit among more manly ones. SURELY. (No. Not at all.)

America's outfit turns into his Character Theme Song outfit, aka the one in my header that I'm too lazy to link. He looks adorable in it, but younger in a way; looking at him, he could be any college student in modern America. ]

This is probably my favorite! I look good and it's comfortable! And it just has this whole feeling of being American. Ya know?

[ But now he's distracted by Tatsumi and his furry collar. SOCUTE. ]

Ohhhh I like that one!

[ I'm now coming to the realization that these two are dating and what are they doing with their time? Modeling outfits over the network. Wow. Totally gay. SLEEPING PILL KICING IN, PRETEND MY JOKES ARE VAGUELY FUNNY AND MAKE SENSE. ]

<---- Not the same outfit but furry collars r awesome!

[totallygay]

[America's outfit widens Tatsumi's smile.]

Ya! You look good in it, too! I like yours!! I like it a lot!!!

[Well, they could be doing it in person. My realization? Anyone can see this transmission of them changing clothes between one another. Anyone.

Tatsumi's head sinks a bit into the fur lining of his collar]

Ya? I like this one a lot too. I guess it's my favorite. If I had to pick one out of all the ones I just got, this would be it!

yes. yes they are.

[starspangledhero]

You should! I'm wearing it, and I can make just about anything look good! You've seen my awesome jacket, right? Not the bomber one--that's the greatest, but I mean the colorful one.

[ They are surely shaking their heads going "why." ]

That one looks like it'd be comfy to snuggle.

[totallygay]

No. I don't think I've seen ya wear a colorful jacket. Show me!!

[That or getting sick from all the gey.he perks up from his cute derpy and blushy state and becomes much more excited]

Oh! Let me show you my next outfit!! I have two of them but they're different colors!!!

[Without another word, he begins to unzip his outfit and strip. he wonders off screen after a bit to get into his next amazing outfit]

[starspangledhero]

[ Somewhere, beyond America's awareness, foreboding music begins to play at the mention of those outfits. It is the music one hears when the character of a horror movie is looking down a darkened corridor. The suspense mounts.

America is that character, except the horror is in the form of hoodie-shorts.

Blissfully unaware, he nods excitedly and begins to put on a coat from his last item rain.

Behold the God Coat.

It personifies all things British and 1960s. This is probably when of the few eras where America actually likes what England has to offer. ]

Groovy, huh?!

[totallygay]

[Tatsumi's head peeks back on screen, the pink of his hoodie peeking up from the corner. he looks America over. it's not exactly his style but it sure is colorful. it suits America in an odd way and he nods.]

Ya!! Reminds me more of Seishirou-sama's style, though! Ha ha!

[If indeed this was a horror film, the strings would screech up as Tatsumi pulls away from the screen, reveling his awesome pink hoodie shorts, with cross designs over his chest. This is the mountain of gey that was ever gey. The color brings out his derpy cute side all while leaving his legs exposed. It's as though someone combinded a designer hoodie and short-shorts.

Tatsumi puts the hoodie part up to show off the patterned inside of the hood and waves before putting his hands on his hips.]

Isn't it cute?

1/idk

[starspangledhero]

[starspangledhero]

[starspangledhero]

[starspangledhero]

[starspangledhero]

done

[starspangledhero]

What is that?!

/DIIIIIIIIIIED

[totallygay]

[The smile drops and his hear-ears tilt downward in his act to look like a lost puppy]

What is what?

[starspangledhero]

[ Sorry Tatsumi, that won't work. He's blinded by the PINK MONSTROSITY. ]

That outfit! It's shorts with a hoodie and it's... pink! And not even a tasteful pink!

[ LIKE FLUORESCENT PINK. LIKE ROSALYN'S SHADOW. ]

[totallygay]

[It's LIGHTISH-RED, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! Yes, i DID just make a Red VS Blue reference. Shut. Up.]

It is too tasteful! It's very fashionable, Alfred-kun!! I have a white one too!!!

[He holds up the white one, which is short sleeved and pouts.]

They are both really cool!! You just don't understand because it's the future or something!!!

[starspangledhero]

[ I love Red vs. Blue *w* ]

I understand there's nothing about either of those outfits that says you like vaginas.

Seriously.

How do you like anything but dick, man.

[totallygay]

[Wow.
That.
Was.
Cold.

Tatsumi's eyelids sink until only a sliver of yellow can be seen under his bushy eyebrows. The shadow cast by the hoodie only emphasizes his glare.]

I could always cheat on ya... to prove ya wrong.

1/2

[starspangledhero]

[ America is a douche THIS IS ESTABLISHED FACT.

Of course, he doesn't realize he just said something wrong, so he's utterly surprised to hear that. ]

You wouldn't! I'm the best there is! Even a girl wouldn't compare to me!

[starspangledhero]

[ He still doesn't understand what he did wrong, so as the moment passes, he just looks more and more hurt. ]

...You wouldn't!

[ If only this was the only thing he had to worry about with this relationship. ]

[totallygay]

[OOOohh ho ho ho. Tatsumi found a button to press. What's worse is he LIKES pressing buttons. So, he grins.]

Ya?

[starspangledhero]

[ AMERICA SEES NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS SITUATION 8( ]

Yeah!

[totallygay]

[It's because he is so insecure]

Oh, but I could.

I mean, I did kiss some girls in this city already. Who's to say they wouldn't enjoy a little further attention? Specially from a man who isn't fashion blind and isn't afraid to show off his build.

[starspangledhero]

No you couldn't! Even if you did like girls, none would go with your stupid pink outfit anyway!

[ Oh yeah. Totally lashing out. And looking on the verge of crying. ]

And if you did you'd never have my blood ever again or even get to touch me and then you'd be left not being loved by anyone and you'd have a world superpower as your pissed ex so you'd better not cheat on me or else.

[ ...sniffle. ]

1/2

[totallygay]