( video ) America: Greet the new arrival to the embassy

[starspangledhero]

[ America pops up, all smiles as usual. The camera shakes a bit as he moves up the stairs to his apartment. ]

Yeesh, usually I check in more than this, but you know how it goes: busy taking down vicious beasts, throwing birthday parties, saving the city, the usual! Ah, hold on...

[ He fumbles in his pocket for a key, opening his door... ]

So earlier I had this really good idea for-!

[ This is promptly cut off by a scream. It is the scream of someone who is now witnessing their precious pet dog(dragonwolfmonsterhellbeast) being eviscerated and eaten. Actually, here, have a quick view of the scene while America presses himself against the wall: ...why, it's only Nepeta enjoying a meal consisting of monster meat! What's so terrible about that?

Fucking everything, damn it. That blood splatter on the floor was his pet. How would you feel if someone ate your dog? Not too hot. Even if the creature eating your pet happens to be a cute little troll girl who, at the moment, looks a bit like a pet who just got caught doing something they shouldn't. The irony of this situation continues to mount. ]

PUPPY, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! OHMYGOD IT'S EATING MY DOG!

[ Cue more incoherent screaming as he grapples for his shotgun. Amidst his struggling, the communicator switches off.

If you are in Marshall, you can probably hear his screaming. ]

Comments

[notyourpage.livejournal.com]

Wait wait wait! Tell me more but not yet! [ and with that he can hear a THUD THUD THUD as a certain brat runs out of his room]

[starspangledhero]

Uh. Okay?

[notyourpage.livejournal.com]

[ aaaaaand GUESS WHAT SOMEONE IS KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR]

[starspangledhero]

[ PRESUMING THIS IS AFTER FEFERI HELPED CLEAN UP THE REMAINING GORE AND... AFTER TATSUMI OR SOMETHING god only knows. anyway. OPENING. ]

Whoa you're here!

[notyourpage.livejournal.com]

Now tell me tell me!

[starspangledhero]

Okay okay, come in!

Buuut I think I know something that'll help explain. One sec!

[ dashes away to... somewhere. ]

[notyourpage.livejournal.com]

Okay! [ Walks in and finds himself a nice comfy spot on the couch]

[starspangledhero]

[ America reappears with his E-Tool. It looks like a shovel... until you get up close and notice the ridges on the spade designed for splitting skulls and the HOLY SHIT IT EXPANDS.

IT IS A WEAPON OF THE GODS. ]

This is what I used to bring it down!

[ Or so I presume. IT WAS THE PLAN TO TEAM UP WITH DENMARK AND SAM SO. I ASSUME THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED. ]

[notyourpage.livejournal.com]

.... It's a shovel.

[starspangledhero]

It's an E-Tool! You can split skulls off with it. Not even crack them, ya can literally slice off part of a head with it.

[notyourpage.livejournal.com]

.....

[starspangledhero]

And that is why I'm a winner.

[notyourpage.livejournal.com]

KEEP THAT THINK AWAY FROM ME

[starspangledhero]

Why?!

[notyourpage.livejournal.com]

[ covers his head and curls up a little]

[starspangledhero]

[ immediately tosses it off to the side and rushes over to the poor puppy-kid ]

Hey, hey, it's okay, I got rid of it! You alright?

[notyourpage.livejournal.com]

DOn't slice my head open I need that!

[starspangledhero]

I'm not gonna slice your head open! I only do that to bad people and monsters!

[notyourpage.livejournal.com]

Y-yeah well ya better not cause I'd kick your ass!

[ He's trying to sound tough after feeling embarrassed from freaking out]

[starspangledhero]

Wouldn't even dare to try it!

[ it's a lost cause. ]

[notyourpage.livejournal.com]

Good! Cause I could take you down!

[starspangledhero]

I'd like to see you try!

[notyourpage.livejournal.com]

[ Huffs at that]

You're no match for the great Tetsunosuke Ichimura.

[starspangledhero]

Oh yeah? Well I'm the United States of America, greatest country in the world!

[notyourpage.livejournal.com]

Blah blah blaaaaah