starspangledhero | ( video ) America: Greet the new arrival to the embassy

[ America pops up, all smiles as usual. The camera shakes a bit as he moves up the stairs to his apartment. ]

Yeesh, usually I check in more than this, but you know how it goes: busy taking down vicious beasts, throwing birthday parties, saving the city, the usual! Ah, hold on...

[ He fumbles in his pocket for a key, opening his door... ]

So earlier I had this really good idea for-!

[ This is promptly cut off by a scream. It is the scream of someone who is now witnessing their precious pet dog(dragonwolfmonsterhellbeast) being eviscerated and eaten. Actually, here, have a quick view of the scene while America presses himself against the wall: ...why, it's only Nepeta enjoying a meal consisting of monster meat! What's so terrible about that?

Fucking everything, damn it. That blood splatter on the floor was his pet. How would you feel if someone ate your dog? Not too hot. Even if the creature eating your pet happens to be a cute little troll girl who, at the moment, looks a bit like a pet who just got caught doing something they shouldn't. The irony of this situation continues to mount. ]

PUPPY, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! OHMYGOD IT'S EATING MY DOG!

[ Cue more incoherent screaming as he grapples for his shotgun. Amidst his struggling, the communicator switches off.

If you are in Marshall, you can probably hear his screaming. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

|Anything| is probable. We're in a city with limited food. A with monsters that need to eat and that come into apartments. Monsters that look like barrels but they explode. It's possible one of the Barrel Spiders could have managed to get in your apartment and blown up the dog. There are radians in this set who fight and kill monsters. If they see a monster in the apartment, a designated "safe zone" or some other garbage, it's very likely they'll kill it. There are radians who break into other's apartments on a semi-frequent rate. It's probable some will be inclined to kill monsters.

And due to an extra digit in my own apartment, I have made precautions. To stop stupid 000s from getting in, I keep the entrance locked or blocked off. To keep it from wandering around the entire complex, I limit its own functions. And finally, it's not edible.

Edited 2011-01-19 07:07 (UTC)

But most people've seen me walk Puppy! I guess that's why she didn't know, she's new and all, but still, she broke in to eat her. Maybe Puppy was barking or something, I dunno, but still!

Also I only got half of what ya said.

Was it locked?

To simplify the equation: Right now, I have a bear in my room and there's a 95% chance maul most any moron who breaks in or if it gets out. I have set up counter-functions against that.

I thought so!

Wait. You have a bear?!

[ he wants to pet it. it's his way of mourning. ]

Then set up an alarm system of some kind. Drop a bucket on the intruder's head or something of that set.

[Briefly switches to video, and jesus christ it's a ~~scaryass~~ bear (http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080607212418/twewy/images/b/b1/Noise_17.PNG) .... monster.]

Sounds like a good idea.

[ HOLY CRAP THAT'S A BEAR!!! ...except America sounds pretty pleased about it. ]

Awww, he's cute! What's his name?

[He's never heard his Noise referred to as cute before ... but yeah okay that works too he guesses.

And with the right icon this time]

Doesn't have one.

Edited 2011-01-19 08:04 (UTC)

[ America is all sorts of special ]

Can I name him?!

As long as it's not zetta lame.

Name him Ron.

Ronnie the Bear.

[ I have broke so many canon rules to make this joke and I don't even care. ]

.....

Ronnie the Effing Bear. [The tone implies a "really? really?" sort of deal. And sob I'm now watching THE BEAR IS GOD. /edits forever]

Edited 2011-01-19 08:46 (UTC)

Even better!

[ The tone implies that he thinks you just added "effing" to his idea. MY MISSION IS ACCOMPLISHED. Now all we need is a pig noise named Wretched Harmony. ]

I guess that's a possible solution.

[Okay there is a mathematician with the last name Rona he can totally justify this in his dead. And fffft. Clearly we need the entire Wizard People, Dear Reader cast made up of monsters. The orca can be Harry Fucking Potter, the destroyer of worlds.]

The best solution!

[ sdajklr;ewar AHAHA. Eridan has a copy of Troll Wizard People, Dear Reader. The references are only just beginning. ]

Uh-huh...

[Either RONNIE THE EFFING BEAR agrees or it just wants to devour your Soul, but there's a roar in the background.

Asdgfdg YESSSSS. That's all sorts of beautiful.]

Ronnie the bear it is, then!

[ Clearly RONNIE THE BEAR is in agreement. ]

( video ) America: Greet the new arrival to the embassy

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