✪ A M E R I C A ✪ (Alfred F. Jones) ✪ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
starspangledhero) wrote2010-09-23 10:56 pm
starspangledhero) wrote2010-09-23 10:56 pm
Entry tags:
[voice//action for Marshall street apartments]
[ And you thought you were rid of them. Nope. America hath been Mindbroken, which for you means the return of two very special individuals from America's chip event. Both are America's voice. Don't feel like color coding. MAKE DO WITH HORRENDOUS ACCENTS. ]
Someone tell this fuckwit that he ain't allowed ta go inta peoples' homes an' turn everythin' upside down! It's bad enough that he's doin' it ta my land, but do I have ta suffer this blatant invasion of my rights at every turn?!
It's not your home! Don't make me turn your "Alfred" logic bullshit back on you.
Ya can use that excuse fer the war, but ya sure as hell can't use it here, 'cause it ain't yer house!
Well it "ain't yers" either. It's the American embassy, not the "Confederate Den of Inequity"!
Yer face is a Den'f Inequity.
Go back to your drunken gambling you amoral-- where are you going?!
I'm gonna fix what ya've ruined!
[ A door slams. One of the Americas can be heard screaming through the other side of the door. ]
I'LL PUT THEM RIGHT-SIDE UP AGAIN, YOU PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE CUP HANDLER!
[ The other speaks into the communicator. ]
Beg yer pardon, everyone, but this ain't gonna stand. No way am I gonna let anyone here get roaches crawlin' in their cups and spreadin' consumption. Don't let the Yank in yer room.
[ knock knock.
Here comes the Confederacy to turn the cups in your cupboard rim-down. Or is it the Union to turn them rim-up? You might be able to tell because the Reb's missing shoes and looks rather shabby, but then again, if you don't know jack shit about the American civil war, you'll probably be confused. ...Or you're confused anyway. Perfectly acceptable. ]
Someone tell this fuckwit that he ain't allowed ta go inta peoples' homes an' turn everythin' upside down! It's bad enough that he's doin' it ta my land, but do I have ta suffer this blatant invasion of my rights at every turn?!
It's not your home! Don't make me turn your "Alfred" logic bullshit back on you.
Ya can use that excuse fer the war, but ya sure as hell can't use it here, 'cause it ain't yer house!
Well it "ain't yers" either. It's the American embassy, not the "Confederate Den of Inequity"!
Yer face is a Den'f Inequity.
Go back to your drunken gambling you amoral-- where are you going?!
I'm gonna fix what ya've ruined!
[ A door slams. One of the Americas can be heard screaming through the other side of the door. ]
I'LL PUT THEM RIGHT-SIDE UP AGAIN, YOU PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE CUP HANDLER!
[ The other speaks into the communicator. ]
Beg yer pardon, everyone, but this ain't gonna stand. No way am I gonna let anyone here get roaches crawlin' in their cups and spreadin' consumption. Don't let the Yank in yer room.
[ knock knock.
Here comes the Confederacy to turn the cups in your cupboard rim-down. Or is it the Union to turn them rim-up? You might be able to tell because the Reb's missing shoes and looks rather shabby, but then again, if you don't know jack shit about the American civil war, you'll probably be confused. ...Or you're confused anyway. Perfectly acceptable. ]
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but Ukraine is very good at feeding growing boys/alien plants, so pretty soon she comes back out holding a plate of that hearty warm food you always hallucinate when you're dying in the Arctic]
Here you go! Let me know i-if that's enough, ok?
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It's so beautiful.
[ Fact: it's never enough. Doubly so when you shove him out of the civil war and add Discedo on top of it. BUT IT WILL MAKE HIM HAPPY REGARDLESS. ]
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[SHE'S HAPPY THAT HE'S HAPPY and is sitting down in one of the other dining room chairs as he eats]
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Aren'tchu gonna eat anything?
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M-me? Oh no, I-I'm not hungry.
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[ and he just keeps eating WHERE DOES IT ALL GO? ]
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[IT'S LIKE A MINI-BLACK HOLE]
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[ blink. blink. chew. ]
You sure you don't want any?
[ enjoy the vague chivalry while it lasts, because... it won't. ]
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[ DOWNS THE REST IN ONE GULP. ]
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Um, do you feel better now?
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[ getting up to put the dish in the sink (but this one he doesn't clean. TOO LAZY). he'll probably retract his demand for food once Commie Paranoia™ returns. ]
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[that's too bad because mysterious baskets of good food will still be showing up on your doorstep. DING DONG DITCH ANYBODY]
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[ sob he just has to make sure it's not GHOSTS giving him food. but he'll eat it anyway ;w; ]
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[such wonderful survival skills he has.]
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[ how anyone survived the 19th century is beyond me. ]
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[obviously they had to be manly enough to PUNCH DISEASE IN THE FACE. even the women.]
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[ especially the women. spinal tap? THERE AIN'T NO SPINAL TAP, BITE SOME LEATHER HAVE YOUR DAMN BABY. ]
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[not that the spinal tap is much better, holy shit those needles are terrifying. BUT YES, JUST SUCK IT UP AND GIVE BIRTH ALREADY and then you can punch the baby in the face too.]
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[ I would rather be numb to the world and drugged up than painnn ]
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[from the stories my mother has told me about childbirth, both ways ends in horrendous pain and misery]
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[ sobbbb well at least we don't have to deliver in the backs of wagons now. ]
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[true, true. and surgeons wash their hands in between birthings.]
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[ and after cutting someone's leg off ewwwwwww ]
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[oh my god don't even remind me aaaaah battlefield surgeons]