starspangledhero | [voice; english]

So my embassy's trashed, the city's under attack, and everything is in total chaos once again. ...Well alright then!

[ America sounds almost chipper. Insane, stupidly brave, or downright heroic? Answer: all three. It is now time, once again, for America's capslock speak. ]

ALL AMERICANS, GRAB SOME GUNS AND EITHER HEAD TO THE HIGH SCHOOL OR FOLLOW ME! STAY ALIVE, STAY BRAVE, AND DON'T DRINK THE WATER. CHECK IN WITH ME AS SOON AS YA CAN SO I KNOW YOU'RE OKAY.

OTHER COUNTRIES NOT AS COOL AS ME? REPORT IN SO YOU CAN BE MY BACK UP! WE'RE GONNA HOLD A DEFENSIVE LINE AROUND wait which building has the most people in it? That one!

Russia, today is the day I start hating you a little less if ya do as I tell ya! By the way, I'm gonna tell ya to jump in front of me and absorb all the blows while I sneak around and save the day. It's a flawless plan that's worked before and it'll work again. Hey, how well do these things get past barbed wire and stakes? Someone who isn't me, go set those up around the doors and windows to wherever you're holed up!

I found Puppy and I need someone to take in her and Banjo and my stuff for me while I save the day. This is going to suck without air support, but I'll manage somehow!

[ America then does some weird battle cry. He has no idea what he's doing. If he can manage to get a group together, he'll stupidly try to SHOOT 'EM IN THE HEAD. If not... well he's still doing that, but he'll end up far more battered and probably fall into a hole unconscious. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ RUNNING THROUGH A BUILDING CAN BE A VERY SOBERING EXPERIENCE ]

I wouldn't trust that Russian bastard to do anything but stab you in the back the minute you turn around.

Don't worry, he's going out in front to distract all the creatures while I shoot at them! ...It. The creatures. I kinda need Russia alive for distractions, huh?

It'd be impossible to see anything while standing behind his massive girth.

[ SIGH OF 'this special relationship is so fucking one sided' ]

I suppose the least I can do is save your sorry arse. Where are you?

Edited 2010-07-16 08:18 (UTC)

Good point! Maybe he can smother all the things with his sheer size!

Me and Denmark are wandering around, but I'm gonna head to the high school and hold it down. Canada's got Gohl covered, but I should have the school secured by the time he fails!

Canada won't fail.

[ trust in your failbro! ]

I'm coming to help.

...I know.

[ But don't tell him I said that. ]

Need a gun?

I've got my Webley, although I'm sure Russia wouldn't mind if you sold him a few more colts.

[ USING YOUR OWN FACT AGAINST YOU ]

[ OH YOU HOOKER ]

You're going to bring that up? Now?!

I'm not bringing up anything. Lend me a bit of ammo, and I'll call us even.

But you-- the Crimean War-- and--! Yeah, okay, fine, I've got some extra shotgun ammo.

And?

[ NOW YOU'RE THE ONE BRINGING IT UP AMERICA. And how do you want to do this because I honestly DON'T KNOW ]

Oh, and if you die before I get there, I'm won't forgive you.

And... never mind.

[ IDK AMERICA'S WANDERING WITH DENMARK AND FIGHTING WITH SURGE whatever he'll be hanging outside the high school. I feel like I had something else to ask you other than "WOULD ENGLAND LIKE TO JOIN THE FAILFAMILY AT GOHL" but idr what it is. ]

In your dreams, old man. Make sure you get here with all your limbs intact! What good are you if your hand gets bit off and ya can't even aim?

Don't start sentences if you're not going to complete them; it makes you look like an imbecile.

[ WELL I'M CLUELESS AS WELL ]

Don't be stupid; it'd only be a flesh wound.

And I was gonna say, that war was years ago and I hate Russia more than any other country now.

[ sob I'll ask when I remember. ]

Your hand will be gone!

Do you? Congratulations America, you're only a few centuries too late.

[ I shall wait here patiently. and not even answering that hand thing because even I can't think of a witty response to that ]

He wasn't crazy communist back then, and hey, money is money. You were mean to me, he wasn't, and then he sold me Alaska.

[ Eh forget it IT'S SLIPPED MY MIND. ]

[voice; english]

why don't you people sleep at normal times

because I don't work tomorrow

STILL. & unlike yall I need my beauty sleep.

SLEEP TIGHT AMIR. don't look out your window.

luckily my windows are electrified like in Jurassic park.

I will test the window for weak points like a velociraptor

I got my shotgun ready

but I'm a clever girl ehehehehehehehehehe ;w;

... oh god stop stealing my lines!!!

AHAHAHA never

;w;

:>

/SCREAM

I learned my creepiness from the best

... Freddy Krueger?

not even Freddy Krueger huff puffs