( text; ) Karkat is the one that fell down a hole this time

[starspangledhero]

OKAY SO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW EVERYONE GOT COOL STUFF AFTER THE THOUGHT FISHIES WENT AWAY AND I HAD TO PUNCH A SHARK AND HOW I GOT A MUSTANG (LIKE THE ACTUAL HORSE NOT THE CAR)??? WELL I DID! BUT IT WAS WILD SO I HAD TO BREAK IT IN. AND I FINALLY MANAGED IT WITH ONLY A COUPLE KICKS TO THE EVERYTHING.

CAN'T USE SHIFT CAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE I BROKE MY HAND CLEANING HIS HOOVES. TYPING WITH THE OTHER.

OH AND I GOT SOME COOL OUTFITS TOO! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ALL OF THEM ARE BUT ONE HAS A WHIP AND A HAT AND ANOTHER LOOKS LIKE A POLICE UNIFORM AND A SPOOKY ONE AND A COUPLE OTHERS. I LOOK REALLY GOOD IN THEM!

GUYS MY HAND LOOKS REALLY GROSS LOOK AT THIS:

HOLD ON I'M HAVING TROUBLE TURNING ON VID

( video; english )

--oh, there we go!

[ America grins, then turns the video to his hand. It's swollen, one of the fingers is blackened, and the nail has fallen off. He has to show everyone his gross injuries always. He turns it back to himself; he's wearing his Indiana Jones outfit, minus the hat. ]

Sick, right? I'm gonna splint it up and stuff, so hopefully it won't take too long to heal! And then I can get to work making a saddle to fit him and Namine's pony! The plains should be thawed enough to graze them this spring. Man, I'm excited to finally get to ride again!

And if anyone has some pain meds or anything, that'd be cool.

[ America gives a thumbs up with his non-broken hand before shutting off the video. ]

Comments

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

Who'd have thought? You, my friend, have excellent taste. Never thought I'd say that to a whole country--but you really do.

Question though! On your escapades, you haven't run across a blue police box, have you?

[starspangledhero]

[ America just grins back. THE CRACKS IN TIME ALL START WITH THIS MOMENT. THIS IS THE CAUSE. ]

Damn straight! I know bow ties haven't been the "in" thing for a while, but they're still totally cool! The only guy who can rival my fashion is England, and that's only because fashion and music and fog are the only things he's ever done right. Except for me, of course. And Canada I guess. Mostly me.

Blue police box? Nah, ha haven't seen anything like that. But I did find a bag of pretzels yesterday. [ totally. relevant. ]

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

I do have a particular fondness for England. Tweed, the Union Jack, Wales... Fish and chips.

... Right! Of course. Pretzels.

[starspangledhero]

I have the pet whale, not England! And he's too... English. It's like someone shoved a stick up his ass somewhere in the 18th century and he has yet to dislodge it. Plus, it's always raining at his place. I hardly ever see the sky over there.

[ as oblivious as America is, he does see the faltering expression. he just doesn't get it. ] ........Do you want some pretzels?

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

Not the animal, the country--but whales are amazing too. Especially star whales. And so you know, that probably comes with the territory. Queen Victoria, now she--very strong woman, very... resolute. Lots of propriety and... unamusedness.

...

What? Oh! No. It's not the pretzels. I mean it is, actually, but they're so salty. I'd prefer a banana

[starspangledhero]

Star whales? [ yeah he heard NOTHING BUT THAT. ]

No bananas around here! And it takes a lot of work to make ice cream. Which means there's no banana splits, and that just sucks. You gotta make do with pretzels!

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

Star whales.

...

Now I really want a banana split. Why would you do that?

[starspangledhero]

What's a star whale?

I want one too... that was a bad idea, now it's all I'm thinking about. Banana splits and star whales.

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

One of the most amazing creatures in the universe.

And I'd settle for a plain old banana; rich in nutrients, taste and... banana.

[starspangledhero]

But what is it?! [ practically BOUNCING with excitement. ]

I want McDonalds. Or Dunkin Donuts. What I wouldn't do for some actual coffee around here!

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

A whale. Of the stars. A giant, ancient species that flew high and far and fast throughout the universe. Amazing creatures--not unlike Earth's whales, except almost as large as, say, Great Britain. Unlike the fish that visited Discedo, they guided the first space travellers from Earth. And weren't conceptual, obviously.

... I hear they managed to acquire some at the cafe.

[starspangledhero]

[ Absolutely. Enthralled. He's just sitting here beaming. Space travel? On a whale? Sounds like America has a new dream. ]

I must befriend one.

[ Oh, and that's just the beginning. He's now doing all sorts of flailing movements out of sheer enthusiasm. ]

I'LL MAKE A ROCKET AND I'LL FLY TO THE STAR WHALE AND I'LL BE LIKE "HELLO NEW BEST FRIEND" AND THE WHALE WILL BE LIKE "I'M A WHALE AND I TRAVEL THROUGH SPACE, OF COURSE I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND AMERICA! LET'S EXPLORE THE LAST FRONTIER!"

AND THEN WE WILL RIDE THROUGH THE UNIVERSE TOGETHER.

AND I'LL FINALLY GET TO TOUCH THE STARS!

PROBABLY NOT LITERALLY JUST POETICALLY BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

That I do! You'll see it eventually, you know, and it'll be brilliant. The furthest reaches of the solar system and beyond.

[starspangledhero]

[ as he should be ]

I've been dreaming about it ever since... well, forever, when I was still small! My memories from back then are pretty spotty, but even so I can still remember trying to touch the sky! And I finally made it to the moon, so I'm already partway there!

Hey! If I stand on the moon long enough, you think a star whale will swim by?!

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

Don't think so. Maybe. You'd have to stand there for quite a while--I think you'd have to get a bit further out to be honest, but you'll run across them. Well, Americans will, like everybody else, and quite a way in the future from your point in time... But you'll see them.

[starspangledhero]

Then I guess that's not what Tatsumi meant when he said the 1970s and 80s would be good. Dang. I wanna meet a star whale now!

[ his voice strains at the end, almost escalating to a whine. ]

Well, I've always got Moby and Tony in the mean time... together, that's almost like having a star whale!

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

...

Tony?

Who's Tony?

[starspangledhero]

The alien who lives with me back home.

[ said so casually as though this isn't strange at all. ]

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

I'm not even surprised, and yet...

... Let me guess, he landed in the forties.

[starspangledhero]

How'd you know?!

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

Lucky guess. Kind of an area of expertise really.

[starspangledhero]

What, the 1940s?

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

Kind of, sort of, not what I was referring to. What's this about Tony? What did he look like? Did he ever get back home?

[starspangledhero]

He's small and grey with big red eyes, and he says "fucking" a lot, and I know I say it too but he totally did that before he saw my movies. Never went back home, no, 'cause he just likes living with me too much! And who can blame him? My place is awesome!

Plus, I think he'd miss Lithuania too much if he ever went back home.

[that-bowtie.livejournal.com]

...

That is the biggest bunch of nonsense.

Tell me more. Did he ever say what planet he was from?