✪ A M E R I C A ✪ (Alfred F. Jones) ✪ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
starspangledhero) wrote2011-01-18 11:48 pm
starspangledhero) wrote2011-01-18 11:48 pm
Entry tags:
( video ) America: Greet the new arrival to the embassy
[ America pops up, all smiles as usual. The camera shakes a bit as he moves up the stairs to his apartment. ]
Yeesh, usually I check in more than this, but you know how it goes: busy taking down vicious beasts, throwing birthday parties, saving the city, the usual! Ah, hold on...
[ He fumbles in his pocket for a key, opening his door... ]
So earlier I had this really good idea for-!
[ This is promptly cut off by a scream. It is the scream of someone who is now witnessing their precious pet dog(dragonwolfmonsterhellbeast) being eviscerated and eaten. Actually, here, have a quick view of the scene while America presses himself against the wall: ...why, it's only Nepeta enjoying a meal consisting of monster meat! What's so terrible about that?
Fucking everything, damn it. That blood splatter on the floor was his pet. How would you feel if someone ate your dog? Not too hot. Even if the creature eating your pet happens to be a cute little troll girl who, at the moment, looks a bit like a pet who just got caught doing something they shouldn't. The irony of this situation continues to mount. ]
PUPPY, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! OHMYGOD IT'S EATING MY DOG!
[ Cue more incoherent screaming as he grapples for his shotgun. Amidst his struggling, the communicator switches off.
If you are in Marshall, you can probably hear his screaming. ]
Yeesh, usually I check in more than this, but you know how it goes: busy taking down vicious beasts, throwing birthday parties, saving the city, the usual! Ah, hold on...
[ He fumbles in his pocket for a key, opening his door... ]
So earlier I had this really good idea for-!
[ This is promptly cut off by a scream. It is the scream of someone who is now witnessing their precious pet dog(dragonwolfmonsterhellbeast) being eviscerated and eaten. Actually, here, have a quick view of the scene while America presses himself against the wall: ...why, it's only Nepeta enjoying a meal consisting of monster meat! What's so terrible about that?
Fucking everything, damn it. That blood splatter on the floor was his pet. How would you feel if someone ate your dog? Not too hot. Even if the creature eating your pet happens to be a cute little troll girl who, at the moment, looks a bit like a pet who just got caught doing something they shouldn't. The irony of this situation continues to mount. ]
PUPPY, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! OHMYGOD IT'S EATING MY DOG!
[ Cue more incoherent screaming as he grapples for his shotgun. Amidst his struggling, the communicator switches off.
If you are in Marshall, you can probably hear his screaming. ]
no subject
Well... then I suppose you're not too different. This was all just a misunderstanding.
no subject
Not too different? Does Namine think people hatch out of eggs? You were going to wait to give her that whole "birds and the bees" talk until she got a boyfriend, but there are a few misconceptions you'll have to clear up.
She is undoubtedly eager to receive your extensive knowledge on sex and will not be horrified at all when you demonstrate how to put on a condom using a phallic object.
America: Try to understand cultural differences.
You fail miserably at this. This comes as a surprise to absolutely no one. Not even yourself.
You... hatch from eggs... and are a troll... cat girl... who eats animals. Huh. Okay then. That's weird.
America: Point out the bright side to the situation.
Well, I mean. You kinda ate my dog and I'm gonna bawl again as soon as I process all this, but yeah. It does seem to be a misunderstanding. Guess I don't have to shoot you now!
You think that you are largely successful in pointing out the bright side to the situation. However, it is no longer simply an awkward conversation shuffle. It has evolved into a full fucking dance. Not even slow dancing, this is an all-out Dirty Dancing equivalent to how the awkwardness of this conversation is progressing.
That analogy made no sense and yet I fail to care.