starspangledhero | [voice//action for Marshall street apartments]

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[voice//action for Marshall street apartments]

[ And you thought you were rid of them. Nope. America hath been Mindbroken, which for you means the return of two very special individuals from America's chip event. Both are America's voice. Don't feel like color coding. MAKE DO WITH HORRENDOUS ACCENTS. ]

Someone tell this fuckwit that he ain't allowed ta go inta peoples' homes an' turn everythin' upside down! It's bad enough that he's doin' it ta my land, but do I have ta suffer this blatant invasion of my rights at every turn?!

It's not your home! Don't make me turn your "Alfred" logic bullshit back on you.

Ya can use that excuse fer the war, but ya sure as hell can't use it here, 'cause it ain't yer house!

Well it "ain't yers" either. It's the American embassy, not the "Confederate Den of Inequity"!

Yer face is a Den'f Inequity.

Go back to your drunken gambling you amoral-- where are you going?!

I'm gonna fix what ya've ruined!

[ A door slams. One of the Americas can be heard screaming through the other side of the door. ]

I'LL PUT THEM RIGHT-SIDE UP AGAIN, YOU PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE CUP HANDLER!

[ The other speaks into the communicator. ]

Beg yer pardon, everyone, but this ain't gonna stand. No way am I gonna let anyone here get roaches crawlin' in their cups and spreadin' consumption. Don't let the Yank in yer room.

[ knock knock.

Here comes the Confederacy to turn the cups in your cupboard rim-down. Or is it the Union to turn them rim-up? You might be able to tell because the Reb's missing shoes and looks rather shabby, but then again, if you don't know jack shit about the American civil war, you'll probably be confused. ...Or you're confused anyway. Perfectly acceptable. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[I've placed my cups both ways before so I win.

But anyway what Japan wants to see Confederacy again.]

[ The Confederacy is popular tonight. ]

May I come in?

[ Here's a face that clearly reads "you can either invite me in or I can sneak in later when you're not looking." ]

[I miss his accent okay. Japan sort of stares forever before opening the door a bit wider.]

Ah... of course.

[ His accent is super fun.

And the second the door is open, the Confederacy hurls himself in (politely) and makes a bee-line for the kitchen. ]

Sorry fer the interruption, but Yank insists on havin' things his way even though his way is likely ta hurt people, an' I'm the only one standin' up ta him. And that make me the villain'f history? What bull--

[ He bites down on his tongue to muffle the rest of his sentence. Confederacy has... swearing problems. And gambling problems. And drinking problems. And everything problems. ]

...As England would say on a good day, "what a load'f bullocks."

Ah, it is-- you..?

[STARING. Following after because YOU DON'T TOUCH A MAN'S KITCHEN.]

What is going on?

[ IT'S OKAY, HE'S ONLY LOOKING IN YOUR CUPBOARD. And making sure all cups are turned rim-down. ]

Makin' sure ya won't get roaches crawlin' in yer cups.

...Roaches?

[Watching curiously]

Yeah, big ol' nasty flying hell beasts that get in everythin' and get ya sick.

[ flip flip flip ]

[fact o' the day. cockroaches can make Japan cry. It's canon. No seriously, it was in his notes.]

...Ah, I see. But I always check the cup before I use it..

[ oshi-- well in that case, Confederacy is doing Japan a favor. Otherwise he might find one of these in his mugs. ]

Don't mean they haven't been in it.

[SCREAAAAAAAAAAAM

And that is basically Japan's face's thoughts.]

A-ah...

There! Now ya jus' have ta remember ta clean off yer plates b'fore ya use 'em. An' yer set!

[ THUMBS UP. ]

God knows why Yank doesn't do the same. It ain't like cockroaches can distinguish between a Northerner an' a Southerner like people can. Oh well, it's only what he deserves fer invadin' my house!

A-ah, thank you..

[pause]

However, why are you-- I thought you were both.. Alfred-san now?

[ pause. PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE. trying to remember. and fuck it, consistency is for hookers. ]

We were. Dunno what happened. Now we're back ta bein'... us, during the war. Guess whatever happened split him up again.

...He'll be back, though. I'm sure'f it.

[ He's not exactly overwhelmed by crushing depression, but he's certainly not happy. More like resigned that he's only going to become a part of something larger than be his own independent nation. ]

[kind of quietly after a pause] I hope so.

[ Confederacy doesn't really turn around to face Japan; he just goes back to kinda... shuffling the stuff in the cupboard around. ]

An'... what'f he didn't? What'f it was jus' me an' Yank? ...Hypothetically speaking, 'f course.

[Japan pauses, then walks over to stand next to Confederacy.]

I did not... Ah, I apologize. It is just that you two fight so often.

If you two could get along, I believe that it would take time getting used to, but it would be fine.

[ still shuffling things around, not making eye contact. ]

It'd be different than'f we weren't... us. Apart. Different than what yer used ta.

[ He finally turns, managing a smile. ]

It's alright. Like I said: all hypothetical. Ain't any use askin' "what 'f." It'll all go back ta normal soon. In the mean time, I'll be... me.

[........S-SOB JAPAN IS SAD NOW]

Do you have a problem with that?

[ AS HE SHOULD BE. Confed waves flippantly. ]

Nah. Well, I mean, I have a bit'f a problem not winnin' an' bein' suppressed an' exploited by the North, but'f I stuck around, ya wouldn't have yer friend. Not entirely. So it's only natural ya want thing back ta how they were. An' Alfred's a good guy; bein' him ain't the worst thing in the world.

I would like to speak with you both at once! [KIND OF LOUDER THAN HE WANTED TO BE]

[ Blink blink wow that was unexpected ]

Uh. Ya mean right now?

. . .

You, and Union-san, and Alfred-san. It is natural to be sad that not all of you can exist, after meeting you.

[ Confederacy looks almost surprised at that. He quickly recovers and grins the same broad smile that every America manages. ]

Huh. Aside from my people, yer probably the only one who'll miss me. That's awful nice of ya.

Edited 2010-09-27 01:02 (UTC)

Is that so.. [kind of sadly.

I MEAN he sure as hell doesn't want three Americas running around, but he is sad to say goodbye.]

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