starspangledhero | [video; english] WRONG KNOWLTON, AMERICA

[ Unlike just about everyone else in Discedo, America's looking pretty excited right now. And sick. Not too bad, but he didn't make things better with self-medication, so he'll be breathing a little heavily and probably pausing for breath every once in a while. ]

Why didn't anyone tell me Thomas Knowlton showed up?! Well, okay, Japan just did, but I mean before that! It's one thing to miss running after a plane because I'm busy dying of food poisoning--seriously, I'm never eating foreign food again--but I would've grabbed a bucket and sprinted if I knew he was here! Ya hear that Thomas?! Not even smallpox would've stopped me!

[ COUGH okay he has to take a minute here to recover. ]

Or... or the flu. Whatever. I hate colds. Hardly ever get 'em back home, which is good, 'cause even when it's not the economy, human meds don't do jack for me, last like, ten minutes... ah.

Yeah! So you guys know how I'm all awesome at espionage and stuff? You have Knowlton to thank for starting that.

[ America sighs wistfully, staring off into space with a stupid grin on his face. ]

He's one of those types that wouldn't order men into battle; he'd lead. Always in step right along beside me. That was only in battle though; he was even better undercover! Got a good amount of dirt on England with his help. Even at the end, he didn't falter.

[ His eyes snap back into focus and the guys looks even more elated, if possible. He's practically wiggling in his seat from sheer excitement. He's like a dog who wiggles half of its body when it's wagging its tail. ]

Been 193 years since I've seen him! I lost a lot of good men in the Revolutionary War, yeah, but now I'll actually get to see one again! I never thought I would! Hope more of my people of the past show up. More importantly, I gotta show Thomas a good time. I can't let him think his country isn't gonna go out for a drink with him after he died for me. It's the least I can do to honor his contribution to my Intelligence and independence.

I'll... [ Another long pause to breathe. America shakes his head. ] Deal with the washers and... everything else when I'm not welcoming a patriot when my head feels like it's full of cotton and my stomach's doing cartwheels.

Thomas, if ya hear this, make your way over to Marshall Street!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I... he's.... one of my patriots... what?

[ he sounds so lost ;w; ]

You have crazy people living in attics and jumping into graves to hug long-dead corpses. You need help, man.

I won't explain it again.

[ A PUFF OF ANGER ]

He kept her in the attic for her own benefit, prat. Sending her to an asylum would have been a worse fate.

But it's Thomas Knowlton!

She tried to burn the house down! Didn't she die or something? The is something wrong with the Brontes. It was all disturbing.

And he should be six feet under. And speaking with your ridiculous old accent. And wearing a wig, I'd assume. A very proper one.

The Bronte sisters were all very lovely, and they held the proper values of women in the day. You're just too stupid to see.

All the more reason to celebrate him being here! Don't even kid yourself; you're the one whose accent changed and got all... British and weird.

They crushed on stalkers, liars, and drunks.

It developed properly, you mean.

You don't understand the true concept of romance.

You say your "r"s wrong.

Casablanca, Gone With the Wind, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Lady and the Tramp. I think I've made my point.

[ after a long pause ]

I suppose Gone With the Wind was somewhat decent, but Casablanca was pure shite.

Casablanca is one of the most romantic movies ever!

[ how did the conversation move from Thomas Knowlton to romantic movies ]

It would have been better if Claude Rains had a bigger role. The plot was horribly unrealistic as well.

[ who. knows. ]

Yeah, and the crazy wife in the attic was way more believable. Lady and the Tramp was more realistic, and that had singing dogs in it! ...Still really good though.

It's completely believable. Where else would you have kept a demented spouse back then?

[ huff... ]

Lady was a adorabl-- a proper lady.

...Depends. Sometimes they're fine most of the time and just have their dark days where they lay in bed and don't move. [ STRANGELY. SPECIFIC. ]

Yeah she was! Tramp was cool too. He gave up bein' a Don Juan street dog to devote himself to the doggy he loves. [ I have to talk about Lady and the Tramp because that's the only movie of the above list that I've seen 8( ]

And they also have days when they traipse around the house, talk to trees they believe are the German ambassador, and run around the streets stark naked.

[ strangely specific as well! and ENGLAND WANTS TO KNOW BUT HE CAN'T ASK ]

You hurt his feelings, you know.

What?

[ AMERICA DOESN'T HAVE THE SENSE NOT TO NOT ASK. ]

Whose feelings?

George III, dolt.

[ JERK ]

The craziness was probably in his blood, but your bloody declaration certainly sped things along. He may have been King, but he had feelings too, you ass.

How the heck was I supposed to know that?! Sorry he was nuts, but I kinda had more important things to worry about than your king's feelings. Like, say, the feelings of the American public?

You could have spared him a thought.

[ huff... ]

Besides him, you hurt other people as well. Not that I know personally, but you did. And some people could still be somewhat bitter.

No they couldn't. It's been generations since that time, we're super close allies, and my people are like, nuts about your music and culture and stuff! It's just another chapter in history to the current generations.

[ thickity thick thick ]

[video; english] WRONG KNOWLTON, AMERICA

NO DON'T TOUCH ME THERE, THIS IS MY NO-NO SQUARE. R-A-P-E STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.

WHY.

because the rhyme compels you

... 8~

щ(≖益≖щ)

... ;A;

;w;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject