starspangledhero | [video] in which America will prove that he's right and YOU ARE WRONG

Entry tags:

!discedo

[video] in which America will prove that he's right and YOU ARE WRONG

[ Something is amiss in Hetalialand. If you thought Italy!Japan was odd, you're in for something else tonight. Instead of America's usual bomber jacket/hippie clothes/nudity, he's actually cleaned himself up. The horrendous bowl cut is slicked back to be less... awful, he's clean-shaven, and he's managed to patch together a semi-respectable navy blue suit. (Kinda like the icon but way more dusty/moth-eaten/DAMN IT DISCEDO RUINS EVERYTHING AND HE'S TRYING.) Also, red bow tie. Of course. There is nothing to be done about the cowlick. Oh, and the bandages are gone yay! All that's left is a bruise around his left eye.

America had currently set the communicator aside to finish fixing his hair in the mirror. Even his apartment is cleaned up what the hell have you done to him, Japan. ]

Japan's love life aside, there's still a lot of other work to be done to Discedo. Things to be mended, repaired, restored, removed, explored. And I hope you know all know that I fully intend to do all that. As much as is possible for a world power, anyway, though I have to say that's a lot to look forward to!

[ He finishes combing his hair and, to the side of the screen, effortless hoists a washing machine onto his shoulder and moves it off-screen. Walking back over: ]

Doctor Whoever You Are, whenever you're free, I'd very much appreciate any help with this. I can move them all to the basement no problem, but I'm afraid I'm a bit lost when it comes to piping and repairs. Still, I'll do all I can!

In the mean time... I've decided to take everyone's advice and give myself a night off. I've already worked myself to death once; it wouldn't do anyone a favor to repeat that. Not when there's so much left to do!

Anyone is welcome to join me for a drink, or just to hang out-- er, socialize. Whatever. Point is, company's welcome. Otherwise I guess I'll... go fight my way through the library and hope they have one of my writers. Or something sci-fi!

[ America grins, winks at the camera, and bows slightly before moving to shut it off. Blame Japan. BLAME THE COMMUNISTS TOO IF YOU'D LIKE. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Swear you'll keep it a secret!

I swear on the grave of Hans Christian Andersen.

Look, I even know how to lock things now!

Alright!

[ And back to normal chatty mode: ] So remember I went over to Japan's place, right? We had this really weird conversation about England! China kinda too but that wasn't as important as the me-and-England part. Mostly about how England's acting weird and he said he doesn't know me! That's his own fault, it's not like he ever asks me anything, but Japan was like "it has to be a team effort" and if it's a team effort obviously I'm the Team Captain! And I don't remember what we said next, but Japan said something about "reading the atmosphere" and it sounds like a really cool super power, but obviously with any great power comes great responsibility, Spiderman said so, and I've gotta use it wisely. And Japan was like "I bet you'd be charming" and I read the atmosphere and figured, you know, Japan and England and Miles and all them don't think I can be a charming gentleman.

So I'm proving them wrong because I always rise to a challenge!

Oh.

Are ya trying to get with England or something, 'cause, I gotta be honest, that's kinda weird.

... Charming gentleman...

... Wait, wait! Ya went to Japan's place?

NO.

I don't wanna be with another nation! I just wanna prove them wrong!

Yeah? For like, a half hour. He gave me coffee.

He doesn't even like coffee... [ KIND OF INDIGNANT how can you not like coffee. ]

Anyway, I don't get it. Ya gotta make other people change, not change yerself. _{But it's better than neurosyphilis, I guess.}

How can you not like coffee?!

See, that's my philosophy! ...Usually. It's not a forever thing. Man, I couldn't even last like this when it was popular last century. I just wanna prove to them that I can do it if I want to. I just don't want to on a regular basis because I'm too awesome to change!

...I don't want neurosyphilis. How can you tell if you have it if you have it if it stays dormant?

See! See! That's exactly what I was thinking!

Anyway, who cares what other people think, ya know? They'll be like, "ya should act like this all the time, because it made ya nice," or some shit.

Uh... I guess if ya don't go crazy and die, and eat penicillin?

Seriously, what is he, English? ...No, he can't be, so there must be something else wrong with him.

I don't care what others think! ...Mostly. I still like to be cool and thin...

I don't have to get a shot in the ass, do I?

He's too weird to be English.

I like being cool and thin too! But I seriously don't get why ya'd pretend like this.

... Maybe.

Does he have syphilis?

I dunno. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I hate the shots in the ass...

He'd better not!

Well, it'll be a funny joke, anyway.

Can ya drink it?

You gotta check!

Yeah! If nothing else, it's funny to see everyone react!

I dunno, can you?

I'll ask him... gross... I don't wanna die...

England will say "git."

Try it!

Why would you die? [ HE'S ALREADY FORGOTTEN THE WHOLE BABBY STORY. ]

And "twat" and turn really red and probably punch me!

Okay! I have to find some penicillin to drink though.

Because I did him! [ IT'S OKAY, DENMARK WILL REMIND YOU BLUNTLY. ]

It's worth it for that!

Oh yeah! [ pause ] Does this mean you have syphilis? What if you start hating coffee too?!

That's impossible! Right? Isn't it? Nor has it now, too!

Stop fucking the world, you're going to give us all syphilis!

I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD IT! AND I DIDN'T FUCK YA!

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