[video]

[starspangledhero]

[ Have you ever tried to text someone, then you get a phone call, and you end up both losing the text and dropping the call? Something similar just happened to America, so he's been frantically pressing keys to his communicator and somehow manages a post. He still has the bandages and bad hair cut. He blinks in surprise when he realizes it's recording, in mid-chew of a sandwich. ]

--oh, hold on a sec, accidentally turned it on. Well everyone! The occupation of Denmark is going smoothly! There's been no resistance by either domestic or outside forces. Food supplies are adequate and the locals have been very hospitable to American aid! That's all there is for now. Japan's possible dates are still being processed and I'm still in the process of both Marshall repairs and Rail Tracer investigations.

[ America grins with a mouth full of food and give a thumbs up. Look around in the background, and it's obvious he's actually in Denmark's apartment.

Specifically, the kitchen. A table shoved in the corner with two chairs, stove, counters, fish bowl with goldfish, it's all pretty unremarkable, surprisingly or not. Denmark's sitting at the other chair, wearing an apron and clearly not listening even a little bit. ]

Hey, pay attention. The next one is knep dig selv. Kneppede is the past tense.

[ He pronounces each word slowly and carefully.

Now America is completely distracted. Hello awful attention span. The communicator's set down to pick food off of his plate. And through a mouthful of food: ]

Er, kinep thy salv? [ Pronounced with American phonetics. ]

Kinda. Except it's knep.

[ [ Denmark is more or less used to people not being able to pronounce his beautiful, potatolike language. He thinks for a second. ]

Oh, this one's easier. Pik ansjos.

Pick ansyos!

Now the best one of all! halv svensker.

[ For some reason, Denmark is laughing through this particular insult... ]

Halv swinskar.

[ America grins, like it's a joke he doesn't quite get but still finds funny. Hey, it's an effort for him to even pay attention to this "lesson." Horrible pronunciation is to be expected. He finishes munching his food and swallows. ]

Make me another sandwich! Oh, make it two. I've gotta hand one off to Namine later. And what've you got to drink around here?

Beer.

[ There's absolutely no delay; in fact, Denmark looks kind of confused by the question. What else would he have to drink? Jeez, what does he look like? But he shrugs and pushes back in his chair, standing up and adjusting his apron. Let's see, there's a little of that care-package meat left... He calls over his shoulder, grinning, intentionally picking one hard to pronounce: ]

Now try and say hænge røv!

I... uh... repeat that?

[ America's eye glances over to the communicator, and, remembering it's on, reaches over to turn it off. Meanwhile his attention is turned back to Denmark. ]

While I'm here, can ya help me with my eye? It should be okay by now but I need--

[ The communicator turns off to everyone else. To Denmark, the rest of his sentence is "someone to look at it and see if it looks alright." Behold a surprisingly domestic post. ]

Comments

[kongeriget]

[ DENMARK HAS NEVER LIKED YOU MORE, ENGLAND. ]

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

I'm not pronouncing it for you, idiot. I just couldn't stand by and watch America butcher yet another language.

... even one as ridiculous as yours.

[kongeriget]

There should kinda be røve, like an eeh sound, but other than that, it was almost good.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

I'm not repeating your profanity, and I don't give a shite about your praise. The only reason I'd consider saying it again is to correct myself; I'm a perfectionist at heart.

[ MUTTERED FAR OFF IN THE BACKGROUND ]

hænge... røve-- bugger all this for a larke

[kongeriget]

[ Pause.

Pause.

Paaaauuuuuse. ] Also, it should be one word, I just split it up to make it easier. For America. Since he's new at this.

1/2

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

Stop listening.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

It's my first time learning Danish as well; I'm only this good at it because I'm a natural-born linguist, obviously.

[kongeriget]

...




Do ya remember stroðinn, or ragr? [ NORSE INSULTS.

Basically, both imply homosexuality, and the use of them against another was considered just cause to try to kill the person accusing. This is totally a legit way to check if England remembers getting picked on any Norse words. WHY DO YOU NOT SPEAK DANISH. ]

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

Only when they were used against you.

[ HE DOES. HE JUST WON'T EVER ADMIT IT ]

[kongeriget]

Like anyone ever did!

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

Bugger, you mean to say you don't remember that particular incident, Denmark?

Don't you remember that one night when you were a bit tipsier than usual?

[kongeriget]

What.






Yer totally wrong. Nothing... what? Who was it!? Did I at least kill them?

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to spread any rumours, Denmark. That would be rude.

[ ... ] He did mention the fact you pronounced his name incorrectly.

[kongeriget]

I PRONOUNCE EVERYONE'S NAME LIKE THAT!

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

... are you admitting it's happened more than once?

[kongeriget]

Names are hard to remember.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

If you can't remember the names of your bed partners, how can you be sure you've gone and killed them all?

For all you know, you memorised the wrong name and killed a perfectly innocent bystander. With all the rumours flying about, it comes as no surprise.

[kongeriget]

What rumors? I haven't killed anyone in a while. Just Claire. But that was a while ago.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

At home, gitface. I have better things to do here than listen to rumours about your drunken antics.

[kongeriget]

Oh.


Oh. LOOK, I'LL SAY THIS UNTIL IT STICKS, THERE'S NO WAY I'M DOING GERMANY!

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

Germany?

O-oi bastard, I don't want to hear about your torrid love affair with Germany, even if it's the biggest case of Stockholm syndrome I've ever seen.

[kongeriget]

It's not fucking happening! No matter how much his boss is trying! I'd rather die or do ya before that pølse! I don't care what yer hearing in yer house, yer house is stupid.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

My house is so brilliant, I've invented a new way to boil an egg.

[kongeriget]

What lady? And isn't there only like, one way?

1/2

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

The lady is you, idiot.

Really Denmark, are you so daft that you wouldn't recognise a line from a play written about you? One of the most famous tragedies ever written, penned by the hand of the world's greatest playwright?