[video]

[starspangledhero]

[ Have you ever tried to text someone, then you get a phone call, and you end up both losing the text and dropping the call? Something similar just happened to America, so he's been frantically pressing keys to his communicator and somehow manages a post. He still has the bandages and bad hair cut. He blinks in surprise when he realizes it's recording, in mid-chew of a sandwich. ]

--oh, hold on a sec, accidentally turned it on. Well everyone! The occupation of Denmark is going smoothly! There's been no resistance by either domestic or outside forces. Food supplies are adequate and the locals have been very hospitable to American aid! That's all there is for now. Japan's possible dates are still being processed and I'm still in the process of both Marshall repairs and Rail Tracer investigations.

[ America grins with a mouth full of food and give a thumbs up. Look around in the background, and it's obvious he's actually in Denmark's apartment.

Specifically, the kitchen. A table shoved in the corner with two chairs, stove, counters, fish bowl with goldfish, it's all pretty unremarkable, surprisingly or not. Denmark's sitting at the other chair, wearing an apron and clearly not listening even a little bit. ]

Hey, pay attention. The next one is knep dig selv. Kneppede is the past tense.

[ He pronounces each word slowly and carefully.

Now America is completely distracted. Hello awful attention span. The communicator's set down to pick food off of his plate. And through a mouthful of food: ]

Er, kinep thy salv? [ Pronounced with American phonetics. ]

Kinda. Except it's knep.

[ [ Denmark is more or less used to people not being able to pronounce his beautiful, potatolike language. He thinks for a second. ]

Oh, this one's easier. Pik ansjos.

Pick ansyos!

Now the best one of all! halv svensker.

[ For some reason, Denmark is laughing through this particular insult... ]

Halv swinskar.

[ America grins, like it's a joke he doesn't quite get but still finds funny. Hey, it's an effort for him to even pay attention to this "lesson." Horrible pronunciation is to be expected. He finishes munching his food and swallows. ]

Make me another sandwich! Oh, make it two. I've gotta hand one off to Namine later. And what've you got to drink around here?

Beer.

[ There's absolutely no delay; in fact, Denmark looks kind of confused by the question. What else would he have to drink? Jeez, what does he look like? But he shrugs and pushes back in his chair, standing up and adjusting his apron. Let's see, there's a little of that care-package meat left... He calls over his shoulder, grinning, intentionally picking one hard to pronounce: ]

Now try and say hænge røv!

I... uh... repeat that?

[ America's eye glances over to the communicator, and, remembering it's on, reaches over to turn it off. Meanwhile his attention is turned back to Denmark. ]

While I'm here, can ya help me with my eye? It should be okay by now but I need--

[ The communicator turns off to everyone else. To Denmark, the rest of his sentence is "someone to look at it and see if it looks alright." Behold a surprisingly domestic post. ]

Comments

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

Why the deuce would you need an adult?

It's only a bit of spotted dick; it's not going to kill you.

[kongeriget]

I just need one, 'cause I think I'm not old enough for this.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

You're older than I am, wanker. The only nation who would fit the role of adult for you is China, and I wouldn't feed him even if he was the last man on Earth.

[kongeriget]

Oh, right.





Hey, there are others who are older than me! I'm young! Youthful! Energetic! Cute!

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

Cute is the last word anyone would ever use to describe you.

Even after downing an entire keg of Carling, your face would still make me gag.

[kongeriget]

That's because yer tastes suck.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

That's not--

That's completely off topic.

[kongeriget]

Is not!

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

It's a lie, at the very least.

My taste is brilliant, and even if it wasn't, I'm sure everyone would agree that you're the complete opposite of cute.

[kongeriget]

No way, I'm totally great and easy to get along with and like and trust. All that means, cute.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

The only reason you're easy to get along with is because you're a complete idiot.

A friendly idiot who has far too much time.

[kongeriget]

Right, I'm awesome and trustworthy and cool. And crafty!

It's normal to be jealous.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

You're the last person on Earth I'd ever be jealous of.

[ ... ] But if you're implying that I'm jealous of you because you're secretly jealous of me, it's perfectly normal. I'm quite the popular fellow, and it's only natural for you to be envious of God given talents.

[kongeriget]

Is that a euphemism, or are ya talking about yer eyebrows?

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

It's quite disturbing how often you bring up the topic of my eyebrows.

[kongeriget]

Do not.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

Nearly every conversation we have.

Really, Denmark. If you're that envious of them, I'm sure there's tonics out there that will help yours grow. Nothing as robust as mine, obviously, but somewhat close.

[kongeriget]

Look, I've gotta insult something, okay!

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

When you're as brilliant and handsome as I am, it is difficult to find something to insult.

[kongeriget]

Yer short!

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

Your face is lopsided.

[kongeriget]

IT'S NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY!

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

Your right eye is a bit droopier than the left, and your nose isn't--

There is nothing wrong with my height.

[kongeriget]

My eyes aren't droopy! If there's nothing wrong with yer height, why am I way taller?

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

You're an ill-proportioned giant, and you obviously grew too much.

That, and I wasn't fed properly as a child.