starspangledhero | [video/action for anyone ever]

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[video/action for anyone ever]

[ GOOD EVENING, MARSHALL STREET. YOUR LOBBY HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A WILD WEST SALOON BY AMERICA AND MIRIA. Perhaps an elaboration is in order.

If anyone in the complex cares to come down and figure out what all the ruckus (get it? Baccano, ruckus, shush it's funny) is about, you'll find that America and Miria have gotten it in their minds that there should be a saloon in Discedo. It's 1881 for America, and Miria is... Miria. This makes sense to them. This does not make sense to anyone else. That is okay. This is normal. So what does this all entail, exactly? Let's find out:

→ Chairs and tables of a wide variety; most likely stolen or robbed (at complete random, though hey, it might be yours. YOU'LL GET IT BACK... EVENTUALLY.)
→ Likewise for cups, glasses, and any vaguely Western decorations
→ Discedo Red Eye. The normal stuff is made from alcohol, chewing tobacco, and burnt sugar. Do you really want to know what's in the knock off? Either way, it tastes like the fires of hell.
→ Poker chips and cards. By that I mean checkerboard pieces/wood chips/whathaveyou labeled like poker chips, and whatever cards America could find. Have fun trying to win a game with this deck.
→ Banjo tied up in the corner. America stole a cow like the outlaw he is. Too bad it's his own. No one ever said he was good at this.
→ An out-of-tune piano that once belonged to Austria forever and a day ago. Why I remember this, no one knows.

For the record, America's dressed in a cowboy outfit left over from the last time Isaac left, Isaac himself is in similar (though probably fancier) attire, while Miria wears something pretty. This is Discedo and they're both still dirty but WHATEVER. IT ADDS TO THE AUTHENTICITY. The two citizens are in the background setting up the last details while America beams into the camera. ]

THE SALOON IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS! That's right folks! Located right on American soil on Marshall street, brought to you by none other than me! Oh, and Isaac and Miria. They helped a lot.

I have no idea what to call it yet, but I've got alcohol and cards and... aw heck, we don't have a sheriff. Well, I can fill that role 'til a real one arrives! Dunno if that means I have to keep an eye on myself or not, but I'll get to that bridge when I cross it.

...also, England, gotta talk to ya. If you care to. That's it! Come drink and stuff!

[ He apparently thinks he shut it off. That is a lie. The video is still rolling as he sets his communicator on a table. You get a nice view of the lobby ceiling while America shouts at Isaac and Miria. Did I mention that he's a bit imperialistic too? Not as bad as the 1890s but still. ]

So I was thinkin'! Can you guys steal a building? I want another! And I'm running low on bullets and I just got over that economic depression, so I don't wanna pay that much for one. Which one has the most Americans?!

[ It ends there. God help whatever building he attempts to claim.]

[ooc: Action log for anyone and everyone interested! Threadjack anything. Feel free to claim any stupid junk as your stolen item. Or just reply to his post and call him a freak WHATEVER WORKS.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You are!

[ SMOTHERED WITH LOVE. NO LIE. But now England has released America from death by pillow and is attempting to take his pants off. I always thought this part was awkward in all parent-kid relationships, especially when you see it in movies ]

I'm not! I'm my own nation, I can love who I want!

[ WIGGLING AWAYYYY. Well, trying to. And yeah I watched Big Daddy today and I lol'd when Adam Sandler was like "You have to wear the bathing suit because I don't know the rules with parents and kids and being naked." Sob I wish I were pure enough to not feel sketchiness at movies like this. ]

Not when you could do better.

[ ASDFASDF I WATCHED THAT MOVIE TODAY TOO. And trying to worm those pants off so sketch ;w; ]

[ Stopping his struggling for confusion. That almost sounded like a compliment. America doesn't catch this, but he's still having trouble processing words. ]

Better?

[ DID YOU WATCH IT ON ABC FAMILY OR WHATEVER? Maybe that was Edward Scissorhands. I don't know I watched a lot of movies today. America's not so sketched himself because... yeah. Drunk. And now trying to give England the most serious look he can muster while his pants are taken off. The effect is kinda lost. ]

What's better than someone who makes feel happy, and like you're the greatest thing alive, and like you're a country worth fighting to live in?

[ Wait, this is getting too touching. Let me fix that. ]

England, I think I'm gonna puke.

[ He manages to shuffle to the edge of the bed before doing so. And now the dog is coming to investigate like all dogs fucking do. ]

Loads of things. I just can't be arsed to named them all.

[ AND TOSSING THE PANTS ACROSS THE ROOM. He's about to ask America where his PJ's are when he hears that last thing ]

[ and jumping comically to the other side of the bed AWAY from America and AWAY from Betty ]

O-oi. I'm not holding your hair back for you if you throw up!

[ SORRY, CAN'T HEAR YOU, TOO BUSY THROWING UP ON THE FLOOR. Now shivering some from both the vomiting and from having no clothes. He pauses on the edge of the bed for a minute, trying to decide whether to clean it up now or leave it for the morning. The choice is made when Puppy starts sniffing it. He decides to stumble out of bed away from the vomit and go get a mop and a damn bucket to throw up into later.

The second he steps out of the room he seems to have forgotten where he left England. Looking arounnndddd. ]

England?

[ MUTTER MUTTER MUTTER jumping over the puddle of vomit to follow America out ]

What?

There you are! Stay there. Don't go anywhere.

[ Getting the mop and bucket, stumbling back to the bedroom to clean it up, etc. He ends up slumped against the wall for support, mopping the floor with one clumsy hand and drinking his water with the other. ]

I feel better, Arthland!

[ Now laughing at your new name. ]

[ watching America attempt to clean up his throw up is really sad. it's like watching a two legged dog struggle to chase his tail. ]

Do me a favour and shut up.

[ AND WITH THAT, GRABBING THE MOP OUT OF AMERICA'S HAND and cleaning it up himself. He's mutter things like "useless ungrateful sod" and "tosser" under his breath and wondering why he even bothers anymore ;w; such a one sided friendship ]

[ ...that's a really depressing image. ]

'Kay, Englanthur.

[ Staring at his hands a second before realizing that England took the mop from him. Mutter a soft "oh," he crawls onto the bed--crawls, grasping the sheets like they're the only things tethering him to the planet--and curls up in a ball, staring at England while he mops. ]

[ AIN'T IT JUST. England finally finishes cleaning up America's nasty mess, and vanishes off into his bathroom/kitchen to clean the mop off. Betty might be staring at England all mean-like, but England just stares back. This is important because I like calling her Betty ;w;b. anyways. England finally comes over to stare at the ball that is America, and gives him a pat on the head. yes. like the kind you give a dog. this tag is basically nothing, except England showing a little bit of care for the drunk. ]

[ My babysitter was named Betty. She's Scottish. This is destiny. And America the ball is still staring. He tries to wave an arm in the air towards England. ]

Don't go 'til I've fallen asleep.

[ ENGLAND DISAPPROVES OF THE SCOTTISH HELLHOUND. And this is England dangling his hand out of reach of America, kind of like how people dangle cat toys in front of their cats ]

I'll considering staying for a bit longer, but not for your sake or anything. I need to freshen up before I go back down.

[ slowest. tagger. ever. anyway, America uses all of his strength (not at all) to push himself upright just enough to give England a hi-five. ]

Awesome! I need someone on the lookout for lawmen or those other gangs. Don't let 'em get me in my sleep.

[ as if I'd ever judge! ( I DO. SECRETLY. ) and just staring at the high fived hand, before attemping to squash America's face back into his pillow. HE DOES IT OUT OF LOVE, but it's kind of unintentionally forceful ]

Why are you even on the lookout for coppers?

Edited 2010-06-29 07:43 (UTC)

[ I AM OKAY IF YOU ONLY JUDGE ME SILENTLY. And now trying to talk to England his face stuffed into a pillow. ]

They're already angry at me 'bout my exploits with Jesse James, now I think I made 'em even angrier with the Lincoln County war. They'll capture me and send me back to my new boss and he'll say, "America! Stop playing Robin Hood and stop letting China come over to California all the time! Are you listening to me?" Then he'll nag me that I spend too much time on the east coast dealing with industry.

[ Now grinning excitedly at England. ]

But that's where my future and fortune lies. I just know it!

[ KIND OF SQUASHING AMERICA EVEN MORE WITH LOVE. And I'm always judging you huff huff huff--- don't look out your window ]

Stop abandoning your duties as a country. Jesse James and Billy the Berk are disgusting influences and I forbid you to ever fraternize with them again.

[ YOU KNOW THAT ONE GIF WHERE SAM SQUISHES THAT COLLEGE STUDENT IN TALL TALES? THAT IS ENGLAND ]

[ Amir get out or I will tell the rodeo to fire you. SQUIRMING MORE. ]

I'm already outta Jesse's gang and it's Billy the Kid. Besides, what does it matter to you as long as I keep up trade and industry?

[ YOU MEAN THIS ONE?

]

[ FEEL THE LOVE. SLOWDANCE WITH ALIEN ]

It doesn't matter to me. It should matter to you because it's your reputation that's at stake here. Do you really want to be known as a freeloading, chav country like France?

I'm not like France. I'm wild and free and not a complete pervert and I don't smell like cheese and roses. I smell like cowboy! See!

[ GRABBING ENGLAND AND SHOVING HIS FACE IN AMERICA'S CHEST. He smells like leather, tobacco, alcohol, and horses. I don't know why the last one, just run with it. Sorry if he breaks your nose in the process. ]

[ WIGGLING AND WIGGING OUT. Squeezing America's shoulders with as much pressure as humanly possible, with an urgency that screams 'oh god oh god I'm going to die let me go or I'll haunt your stupid Yankee arse'. ]

You smell like a drunk who spent the night sleeping in the sewers.

Better than France!

[ DELAYED REACTIONS, HE'S NOT LETTING GO. I'M NOT EVEN SURE HE'S AWARE THAT HE'S BEING SQUEEZED BY WEE PETITE BABBY FISTS. ]

That's hardly difficult.

[ grabbing America by the ear and TUGGING ]

So then I won't be a... what's that you said before?

[ Okay geeze ow, finally letting go and clutching his poor ear. ]

Ow!

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