starspangledhero | ( text; ) dated some time after the name-fiasco

So... I'll say right now that, no matter what Denmark said, I'm okay if you call me Alfred or America or both or like, "Almerica" or "Amerifred" or whatever you like! I'm both. I ain't human, but. You know, maybe I'll explain it better some day, but I don't want to right now because Denmark's pissing me off and I don't want to think about things like this when I'm upset, and besides, I've got more important things to talk about right now!

LIKE THANKSGIVING.

I'm gonna have a dinner tomorrow! Miles kinda just reminded me so I know it's kinda short-notice, but I've got a box of instant mashed potatoes and other canned things that can somewhat resemble a Thanksgiving dinner if you tilt your head and squint! Anyway, all Americans are invited, and if we hang out and you're not American you can totally come too! Yes, even you, Little England, are allowed over. Try and bring food if you do show up though, because I will be hungry.

Everyone who's chipping in to help with the whole hot water thing, let's start after Thanksgiving, okay? Oh, let's finish before Christmas! It'll be like a present to ourselves!

...Okay, so I have no idea to lock something to someone who's dead, so if you're listening in Phantom the Kid: I dunno if ghosts eat or what but I guess you're allowed to stop by after everyone else has gone home. It must suck to be dead on the holidays. But I'm a nice guy and even though you scare the piss outta me, I have a sworn duty to you and therefore you can have some potatoes too!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What's a movie?

And you can't believe in one type of magic without at least considering the others.

A movie's like... hmm, well you know on these things? How you can see people, but they're not actually there? It's like that! Instead of talking to people, you're watching a story!

I kinda gave up on witches and wizards a long time ago, too. Magic is usually just another way of talkin' about religion. [ or, at least, that's his rationalization for Louisiana Voodoo. Too bad this is before the era of Harry Potter. ]

So..... it's like scrying? But you're watching a play?

I've got no idea what the heck scrying is, but yeah, it's like a play! Except the actors are on screen, not right in front of you.

Scrying is when you use magic to see things that are far away. If you're very good at it, it can also be used for divination.

[ how does he even respond to that beyond "you are one weird little kid" ]

...Right.

I'm not very good at it yet, but the fairies have been teaching me a little.

I can teach you more useful things than your imaginary friends! Like how to be awesome!

............

And how do you do that?

[He's honestly curious to hear this answer. Seriously, how do you teach awesome?]

A very rigorous course in which you learn what it means to be awesome, how to achieve some level of awesomeness, and what makes "awesome" awesome.

[ aka sitting around eating burgers, listening to the Beatles, and getting an earful of his hippie talk. throw in some modernity and actual legit stuff, but that's after the burgers. ]

...............

[There is a long moment of silence. Then a strange sound which may be a childish giggle.]

You made that up. I bet you just came up with it, didn't you?

[ the giggling throws him off and he totally forgets he's talking to England. ]

If I can come up with a course schedule that fast, think how fast I'll be able to come up with actual lessons!

[ and then remembering. and back to being weirded out. ]

I-I mean, er, I totally know what I'm doing! You just can't see my brilliance because you're too busy fairy-hunting!

[He laughs. America may be crazy, but he's certainly entertaining.]

Alright then, when do we start?

Uh.

[ pause. ]

As soon as possible?

........

[He's beginning to wonder just how far America will take his latest bit of crazy.]

So what's my first lesson then?

...Did they have burgers back in... whenever you're from?

No.....

Why? Is that something really good?

It's only the greatest food in the history of ever!

Really?

Do... do they have that here?

Well, they're not as good as my stuff back home, but I make do with what I've got here!

[ the sad part is the questionable meat smothered in grease probably tastes like a Big Mac anyway. ]

Do you think..... I could try one?

[That's okay, he wouldn't know the difference if there was one.]

Of course! I love to spread the love, and what better way than through burgers?

[He smiles. America was silly, but maybe he was nicer than England thought...]

I'll come visit you sometime, okay? You can make me a...'burger' then.

( text; ) dated some time after the name-fiasco

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