( text → video; english ) this post is all over the place and I don't care. FANTASIAAA.

[starspangledhero]

AMERICA'S AWESOME CHRISTMAS LIST

MAKE THE TVS WORK SO I CAN WATCH CHRISTMAS MOVIES

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

CANDY CANES

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

SOME SANTA HATS

A CHRISTMAS TREE

NICE SMELLING SKIN LOTION (I'M BATHING NOW SO NOW I'M ALL DRY AND ITCHY)

WEED!!! (AND A GLASS BONG PLEASE)

A HORSE (PREFERABLY QUARTER HORSE)

A NEW RECORD PLAYER

AND AN ALBUM BY JIMI HENDRIX OR JOHNNY CASH OR FRANK SINATRA OR THE DOORS OR THE ROLLING STONES OR ALL OF THE ABOVE

WARM CLOTHES AND A SCARF

(FREEDOM) PEANUT BRITTLE

SEND PEANUT BRITTLE TO ROSALYN AND TONY AND MOBY AND MILES AND ISAAC AND MIRIA AND OLDER ENGLAND AND LITHUANIA ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS BACK HOME (HUMAN AND OTHERWISE AND NOT KISSINGER) WITH A NOTE THAT SAYS I LOVE THEM AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!

WEED (OR ACID OR K-TABS OR THORAZINE OR WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT) OR TOBACCO

BURGERS AND CHRISTMAS LIGHTS I WANT THEM

AND PLEASE INSTALL A MCDONALDS DOWN THE STREET. AMEN.

[ Insert excited America face here. ]

MY EMBASSY FINALLY HAS LIGHTS AND HOT WATER THANK YOU MADDIE BUTMOREIMPORTANTLYRIGHTNOW-

[ America steps back. He's wearing a tattered, burgundy bathrobe that looks like it's falling apart at the seams. Even worse, he's horribly made himself a blue wizard hat and painted stars onto it. Then he glued some black, vaguely circular papers onto it to look like mouse ears. It looks terrible. All of this took him days to concoct so hey, A for effort. All of this because YEAHHH CLEANING SUPPLIES ACTING ON THEIR OWN. ]

Look! I'm like Mickey Mouse in Fantasia! I am... the sorcerer's apprentice!

[ He starts marching, waving his arms around, generally acting like a goofball. Then, out of nowhere, sponges and brushes, scrubbing him in the vague direction of the bathroom. ]

H-hey, cut it out! Ack! AHHH MERLIN--!

[ He's hearded into the bathroom where there is a loud splash and more of America's wailing complaining as he's cleaned alongside his snarling hellbeast of a pet.

...It'll take him a bit to respond. ]

Comments

[video]

[starspangledhero]

Basically, yeah!

[ irony that he's talking about tyranny to a pre-revolution England. ]

Re: [video]

[sceptered-isle.livejournal.com]

[It is, isn't it?]

..... Does Denmark count? He's always forcing me to take baths and he burned my clothes and he yells a lot.

[video]

[starspangledhero]

Hmmm, that's a tough one. He's in NATO, and obviously that means he isn't tyranny incarnate, but he's definitely not a revolutionary like me. He's probably still stuck under The Man's way of thinking!

Re: [video]

[sceptered-isle.livejournal.com]

What's 'NATO?'

[video]

[starspangledhero]

My awesome friendship club of freedom and capitalism and everything that isn't Russia! You're--!

[ His face twitches just slightly. Confusion and something else, most likely. ]

Well, older you is in it. I don't know about how you... the little kid version of you, anyway. How that'd work.

Re: [video]

[sceptered-isle.livejournal.com]

It's a club? For nations?

[Honestly nothing like that had even been thought of in his time. The best you got was military alliances.]

But how do you keep everyone in it from fighting over each others land?

[video]

[starspangledhero]

I mediate it! Besides, land-grabbing has kinda fell outta fashion by now. Makes having a friendship club all the easier!

[ yes America calls NATO his friendship club. ]