starspangledhero: (As long as I can be Dean)
✪ A M E R I C A ✪ (Alfred F. Jones) ✪ ([personal profile] starspangledhero) wrote2010-12-18 10:40 pm
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( text → video; english ) this post is all over the place and I don't care. FANTASIAAA.


AMERICA'S AWESOME CHRISTMAS LIST


  • MAKE THE TVS WORK SO I CAN WATCH CHRISTMAS MOVIES
  • CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
  • CANDY CANES
  • CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
  • SOME SANTA HATS
  • A CHRISTMAS TREE
  • NICE SMELLING SKIN LOTION (I'M BATHING NOW SO NOW I'M ALL DRY AND ITCHY)
  • WEED!!! (AND A GLASS BONG PLEASE)
  • A HORSE (PREFERABLY QUARTER HORSE)
  • A NEW RECORD PLAYER
  • AND AN ALBUM BY JIMI HENDRIX OR JOHNNY CASH OR FRANK SINATRA OR THE DOORS OR THE ROLLING STONES OR ALL OF THE ABOVE
  • WARM CLOTHES AND A SCARF
  • (FREEDOM) PEANUT BRITTLE
  • SEND PEANUT BRITTLE TO ROSALYN AND TONY AND MOBY AND MILES AND ISAAC AND MIRIA AND OLDER ENGLAND AND LITHUANIA ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS BACK HOME (HUMAN AND OTHERWISE AND NOT KISSINGER) WITH A NOTE THAT SAYS I LOVE THEM AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!
  • WEED (OR ACID OR K-TABS OR THORAZINE OR WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT) OR TOBACCO
  • BURGERS AND CHRISTMAS LIGHTS I WANT THEM

    AND PLEASE INSTALL A MCDONALDS DOWN THE STREET. AMEN.



    • [ Insert excited America face here. ]

    MY EMBASSY FINALLY HAS LIGHTS AND HOT WATER THANK YOU MADDIE BUTMOREIMPORTANTLYRIGHTNOW-

    [ America steps back. He's wearing a tattered, burgundy bathrobe that looks like it's falling apart at the seams. Even worse, he's horribly made himself a blue wizard hat and painted stars onto it. Then he glued some black, vaguely circular papers onto it to look like mouse ears. It looks terrible. All of this took him days to concoct so hey, A for effort. All of this because YEAHHH CLEANING SUPPLIES ACTING ON THEIR OWN. ]

    Look! I'm like Mickey Mouse in Fantasia! I am... the sorcerer's apprentice!

    [ He starts marching, waving his arms around, generally acting like a goofball. Then, out of nowhere, sponges and brushes, scrubbing him in the vague direction of the bathroom. ]

    H-hey, cut it out! Ack! AHHH MERLIN--!

    [ He's hearded into the bathroom where there is a loud splash and more of America's wailing complaining as he's cleaned alongside his snarling hellbeast of a pet.

    ...It'll take him a bit to respond.     ]
    Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

    [identity profile] arcanacabana.livejournal.com 2010-12-19 04:12 am (UTC)(link)
    No, I'm pretty sure it's a prerequisite to be British in order to be a great sorcerer.

    And no, being from Britain does not count.

    Neither does being his offspring.

    And stop wasting your bullets.
    Edited 2010-12-19 04:14 (UTC)
    starspangledhero: (Twenty minutes to save the world)

    [personal profile] starspangledhero 2010-12-19 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
    What?! How did you-- I'm his-- why can't I be a sorcerer?!

    loling so hard, man

    [identity profile] arcanacabana.livejournal.com 2010-12-19 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
    Because you have no master to teach you.

    And don't even bother to ask me.
    starspangledhero: (Fire murderer... furderer.)

    LIKEWISE. he just wants to be a wizard, man. and play quidditch and drive the Tardis.

    [personal profile] starspangledhero 2010-12-19 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
    I wasn't going to ask you! And I already know about magic, I learned some of it and I've seen movies on it and England's rambled about it enough, I could do it if I wanted but I don't so there.

    man that is quite the (awesome) combo list. /shakes head in amusement

    [identity profile] arcanacabana.livejournal.com 2010-12-19 05:30 am (UTC)(link)
    Oh, I'm sure. [Yeah, no you can't.]
    starspangledhero: (And what visage are you in now?)

    clearly, being a wizard encompasses everything british ever.

    [personal profile] starspangledhero 2010-12-19 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
    I could! [ sob he can't. the most he could do is like. Louisiana voodoo but he's probably shitty at that too. ]

    ROFL. Clearly, this must be true!

    [identity profile] arcanacabana.livejournal.com 2010-12-19 05:47 am (UTC)(link)
    [At least it would be scary? Just the idea of him trying alone...] No.
    starspangledhero: (Are you asking me on a date)

    Re: ROFL. Clearly, this must be true!

    [personal profile] starspangledhero 2010-12-19 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
    [ I'M GETTING PRINCESS AND THE FROG VISIONS... he did try to make a voodoo doll of Russia once, but it didn't work out. And he was going to learn alchemy but THAT DIDN'T WORK EITHER. ]

    Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?

    [identity profile] arcanacabana.livejournal.com 2010-12-19 05:52 am (UTC)(link)
    Because you clearly have no talent for it.

    [BECAUSE HE KNOWS THINGS.]
    starspangledhero: (You bit me!)

    [personal profile] starspangledhero 2010-12-19 06:00 am (UTC)(link)
    I've got plenty of talent for it! I've just never been around this kind of magic before. You don't know anything!

    [ ngl I wanted to say "YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, NICHOLAS CAGE." ]

    [identity profile] arcanacabana.livejournal.com 2010-12-19 06:29 am (UTC)(link)
    I know what this is.

    [Yeah, because he is SO British, man. Amirite?]
    starspangledhero: (The Lord- If you say)

    [personal profile] starspangledhero 2010-12-19 06:40 am (UTC)(link)
    Oh yeah? What is it, then?

    [ He is the supreme British being. ]

    [identity profile] arcanacabana.livejournal.com 2010-12-19 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
    An simple animation spell.

    [Damn straight.]
    starspangledhero: (PC LOAD LETTER? The fuck does that mean?)

    [personal profile] starspangledhero 2010-12-19 07:08 am (UTC)(link)
    Animation like... Disney? Well I could've told ya that.

    [ annddd I just spent twenty minutes photoshopping this. I'm not sure why. ]

    [identity profile] arcanacabana.livejournal.com 2010-12-19 07:19 am (UTC)(link)
    [He sighs.] As in an Animate Object spell.

    But it is a lot like Disney.

    [/dies a little on the inside. from laughter.]
    starspangledhero: (Awww I wanted to be ginger!)

    [personal profile] starspangledhero 2010-12-19 07:34 am (UTC)(link)
    I like Disney magic... So why is it try to hurt me?!

    [identity profile] arcanacabana.livejournal.com 2010-12-19 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
    Because it isn't being controlled. It's wild magic.
    starspangledhero: (Look at the color. This is the color)

    [personal profile] starspangledhero 2010-12-20 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
    ...You've lost me.
    starspangledhero: (Twenty minutes to save the world)

    [personal profile] starspangledhero 2010-12-20 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
    How do we stop it?! Merlin isn't here to help us and I'm pretty sure Jiminy Cricket was killed when the Roman Empire toppled!

    [identity profile] arcanacabana.livejournal.com 2010-12-20 08:03 am (UTC)(link)
    Either wait it out, or hope that I can get it under control sooner rather than later.
    starspangledhero: (This isn't funny Dean!)

    [personal profile] starspangledhero 2010-12-20 08:20 am (UTC)(link)
    Sooner! Or tell me how to do it!
    starspangledhero: (And what visage are you in now?)

    [personal profile] starspangledhero 2010-12-24 05:02 am (UTC)(link)
    Try me!
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