( voice; english )

[starspangledhero]

[ America sounds out of breath, which is not something that is easily combined with "absolutely hysterical." Like, you can barely tell if he's screaming or sobbing. Not unusual given that his little werepire boyfriend is now eating half the city! Except the reaction isn't exactly expected. ]

O-okay, okay so, I know there's a lot of things bein' said about Tatsumi and... a-and I know, since there's blood and all, and he's gone missing- it's not all his fault-!

I'M SORRY I GAVE HIM RABIES!

I KNEW AND I WASN'T SAFE! I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS AN STD! O-or that you could get it from drinking blood but I guess- AND NOW THAT HE'S GOT THE CHIP OUT IT'S ALL IN HIS BRAIN AND HE'S RUNNING AROUND ALL RABID AND HE'S BITING PEOPLE, ISN'T HE? I'M GONNA FIX IT DON'T WORRY I'LL FIX IT! HANG ON TATSUMI, I'LL SAVE YOU FROM THE RABIES!

USE PROTECTION. DON'T GIVE YOUR PARTNER RABIES!

[ He coughs, sniffles, tries to take a breath. ]

B-but don't worry everyone, I'll get this fixed! I'll catch him! J-just don't go around with a stake or silver bullets or anything, okay?! Because he's just sick! And I can cure him! I'm the hero, I'll save everyone.

...Meanwhile, ya'll should get some shots!

Comments

[starspangledhero]

You think him getting his chip out has something to do with the rabies?!

I have the perfect plan! I just have to catch him first...

[ BE SMART, MARCO. USE PROTECTION. AND DON'T FUCK COUNTRIES w;A;w ]

[fierybluebird]

More like his abilities going haywire, eh? I basically blacked out for 3 days, woke up in a nest with a bra on my head and a random egg and some vague recollections of claiming my best friend as a perch. Or mate. Fuck if I know. Getting the chip out does weird things to non-countries.

Good luck finding him, he's fast.

[Darn! There go his plans to cheat on Ace with Japan.]

[starspangledhero]

...What.

[fierybluebird]

Don't judge me.

You're the one who turned rabies into an STD. This isn't about me.

[starspangledhero]

Not judgin', just confused.

[fierybluebird]

[Good answer.]

Oh.

I'm a phoenix. So awry powers meant I spent the whole time as a bird. Rather completely. Because my powers were out of control. All that.

[Say that FIRST next time Marco god.]

[starspangledhero]

Phoenix... not like Phoenix, Arizona right? [ what. I DON'T THINK HE EVEN KNOWS WHAT A PHEONIX IS even though it probably sounds familiar because of England's stories. ]

Denmark turned into a sheep. Were you at least a cool bird?

[fierybluebird]

What's an Arizona? An arid zone???

Wait, really. [Snickers and then shakes his head and makes sure it's on video.] The best. It's a phoenix. The immortal bird of flames who rebirths. [Demonstrates by switching into a flaming blue fiery phoenix. And then back like it's nothing.] Best species there is.

1/3

[starspangledhero]

Yup! And it's one of my states! Pheonix is the capital and largest city! It's--

[starspangledhero]

[ OH WAIT. NOW DISTRACTED BY THE FIREY BIRD OF DEATH.

All thoughts of rabies are now abandoned. There is only awesome. ]

[starspangledhero]

DO IT AGAIN!

[fierybluebird]

[Does it again and purposely sparkles for the camera. He freaking loves when people find it impressive.]