starspangledhero: (This isn't funny Dean!)
✪ A M E R I C A ✪ (Alfred F. Jones) ✪ ([personal profile] starspangledhero) wrote2011-05-08 10:37 pm
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( voice; english )

[ America sounds out of breath, which is not something that is easily combined with "absolutely hysterical." Like, you can barely tell if he's screaming or sobbing. Not unusual given that his little werepire boyfriend is now eating half the city! Except the reaction isn't exactly expected. ]

O-okay, okay so, I know there's a lot of things bein' said about Tatsumi and... a-and I know, since there's blood and all, and he's gone missing- it's not all his fault-!

I'M SORRY I GAVE HIM RABIES!

I KNEW AND I WASN'T SAFE! I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS AN STD! O-or that you could get it from drinking blood but I guess- AND NOW THAT HE'S GOT THE CHIP OUT IT'S ALL IN HIS BRAIN AND HE'S RUNNING AROUND ALL RABID AND HE'S BITING PEOPLE, ISN'T HE? I'M GONNA FIX IT DON'T WORRY I'LL FIX IT! HANG ON TATSUMI, I'LL SAVE YOU FROM THE RABIES!

USE PROTECTION. DON'T GIVE YOUR PARTNER RABIES!

[ He coughs, sniffles, tries to take a breath. ]

B-but don't worry everyone, I'll get this fixed! I'll catch him! J-just don't go around with a stake or silver bullets or anything, okay?! Because he's just sick! And I can cure him! I'm the hero, I'll save everyone.

...Meanwhile, ya'll should get some shots!
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starspangledhero: (This isn't funny Dean!)

[personal profile] starspangledhero 2011-05-13 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
Neither did I! And since Germany said I can't get pregnant, I figured, why use a rubber? HOW COULD I BE SO FOOLISH?!

If they can't, I'll have to!

[ this is the most bizarre conversation I don't even... ]
fierybluebird: (Something on your mind?)

[personal profile] fierybluebird 2011-05-13 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
Are you sure it's not just a chip removal thing? I was a little extra uh... sparkly when I got mine out, eh.

Oh well, so long as you can cure it.

[My brain is just so broken. Marco's taking notes never to have sex with the bat devil fruit user or obviously rabid people. What is this even.]
starspangledhero: (Default)

[personal profile] starspangledhero 2011-05-13 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
You think him getting his chip out has something to do with the rabies?!

I have the perfect plan! I just have to catch him first...

[ BE SMART, MARCO. USE PROTECTION. AND DON'T FUCK COUNTRIES w;A;w ]
fierybluebird: (the truth is)

[personal profile] fierybluebird 2011-05-13 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
More like his abilities going haywire, eh? I basically blacked out for 3 days, woke up in a nest with a bra on my head and a random egg and some vague recollections of claiming my best friend as a perch. Or mate. Fuck if I know. Getting the chip out does weird things to non-countries.

Good luck finding him, he's fast.

[Darn! There go his plans to cheat on Ace with Japan.]
fierybluebird: [Marco arching an eyebrow leaning on an arm with blue background] (Is that so?)

[personal profile] fierybluebird 2011-05-13 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
Don't judge me.

You're the one who turned rabies into an STD. This isn't about me.
starspangledhero: (False. Black bear.)

[personal profile] starspangledhero 2011-05-13 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
Not judgin', just confused.
fierybluebird: (shimeji phoenix)

[personal profile] fierybluebird 2011-05-13 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
[Good answer.]

Oh.

I'm a phoenix. So awry powers meant I spent the whole time as a bird. Rather completely. Because my powers were out of control. All that.

[Say that FIRST next time Marco god.]
starspangledhero: (You threw the manual in a supernova?)

[personal profile] starspangledhero 2011-05-13 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
Phoenix... not like Phoenix, Arizona right? [ what. I DON'T THINK HE EVEN KNOWS WHAT A PHEONIX IS even though it probably sounds familiar because of England's stories. ]

Denmark turned into a sheep. Were you at least a cool bird?
fierybluebird: (pretty pretty bluebird)

[personal profile] fierybluebird 2011-05-13 05:00 am (UTC)(link)
What's an Arizona? An arid zone???

Wait, really. [Snickers and then shakes his head and makes sure it's on video.] The best. It's a phoenix. The immortal bird of flames who rebirths. [Demonstrates by switching into a flaming blue fiery phoenix. And then back like it's nothing.] Best species there is.
starspangledhero: (Mmm; Element? Dimension? Beatle?)

1/3

[personal profile] starspangledhero 2011-05-13 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
Yup! And it's one of my states! Pheonix is the capital and largest city! It's--
starspangledhero: (You've got wipers on your headlights!)

[personal profile] starspangledhero 2011-05-13 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
[ OH WAIT. NOW DISTRACTED BY THE FIREY BIRD OF DEATH.

All thoughts of rabies are now abandoned. There is only awesome. ]
fierybluebird: (sparkles)

[personal profile] fierybluebird 2011-05-13 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
[Does it again and purposely sparkles for the camera. He freaking loves when people find it impressive.]
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