[ If America were less of a man, he would be doing a dramatic hair flip right now. But he isn't. So he just rolls his eyes. ]

Pffft. What does he know? Stupid beardy quit NATO and keeps leaving me to clean up his messes because he sucks at everything. He's not allowed to diss the Beatles or the Rolling Stones or the Who or any of your bands after he quit the NATO friendship club to go be stupid and French.

[ HE IS NOT BITTER.

AT ALL.

that was a lie. ]