( text → video; english ) this post is all over the place and I don't care. FANTASIAAA.

[starspangledhero]

AMERICA'S AWESOME CHRISTMAS LIST

MAKE THE TVS WORK SO I CAN WATCH CHRISTMAS MOVIES

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

CANDY CANES

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

SOME SANTA HATS

A CHRISTMAS TREE

NICE SMELLING SKIN LOTION (I'M BATHING NOW SO NOW I'M ALL DRY AND ITCHY)

WEED!!! (AND A GLASS BONG PLEASE)

A HORSE (PREFERABLY QUARTER HORSE)

A NEW RECORD PLAYER

AND AN ALBUM BY JIMI HENDRIX OR JOHNNY CASH OR FRANK SINATRA OR THE DOORS OR THE ROLLING STONES OR ALL OF THE ABOVE

WARM CLOTHES AND A SCARF

(FREEDOM) PEANUT BRITTLE

SEND PEANUT BRITTLE TO ROSALYN AND TONY AND MOBY AND MILES AND ISAAC AND MIRIA AND OLDER ENGLAND AND LITHUANIA ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS BACK HOME (HUMAN AND OTHERWISE AND NOT KISSINGER) WITH A NOTE THAT SAYS I LOVE THEM AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!

WEED (OR ACID OR K-TABS OR THORAZINE OR WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT) OR TOBACCO

BURGERS AND CHRISTMAS LIGHTS I WANT THEM

AND PLEASE INSTALL A MCDONALDS DOWN THE STREET. AMEN.

[ Insert excited America face here. ]

MY EMBASSY FINALLY HAS LIGHTS AND HOT WATER THANK YOU MADDIE BUTMOREIMPORTANTLYRIGHTNOW-

[ America steps back. He's wearing a tattered, burgundy bathrobe that looks like it's falling apart at the seams. Even worse, he's horribly made himself a blue wizard hat and painted stars onto it. Then he glued some black, vaguely circular papers onto it to look like mouse ears. It looks terrible. All of this took him days to concoct so hey, A for effort. All of this because YEAHHH CLEANING SUPPLIES ACTING ON THEIR OWN. ]

Look! I'm like Mickey Mouse in Fantasia! I am... the sorcerer's apprentice!

[ He starts marching, waving his arms around, generally acting like a goofball. Then, out of nowhere, sponges and brushes, scrubbing him in the vague direction of the bathroom. ]

H-hey, cut it out! Ack! AHHH MERLIN--!

[ He's hearded into the bathroom where there is a loud splash and more of America's wailing complaining as he's cleaned alongside his snarling hellbeast of a pet.

...It'll take him a bit to respond. ]

Comments

[arcanacabana.livejournal.com]

[...]

You would not make a very good apprentice.

[starspangledhero]

[ twenty minutes and one very pink America later... ]

I would be a fantastic apprentice. I'm already an awesome knight, I could be an awesome sorcerer too if I wanted!

[arcanacabana.livejournal.com]

No. You could not.

[starspangledhero]

Totally could!

[arcanacabana.livejournal.com]

Very doubtful.

[insouciantmaybe.livejournal.com]

Where are you?

I beseech your company.

[starspangledhero]

My apartment, getting attacked. Not for long! I'll be ready to hang in like, two minutes, I've gotta take these fuckers down. Magic isn't immune to bullets, right?

[insouciantmaybe.livejournal.com]

I wish to help.

[starspangledhero]

You do? Awesome! Grab a gun and head on over! Marshall 202. Just don't hit the dog.

TEAM AMERICA GO FIGHT WIN.

he's on his merry way.

[insouciantmaybe.livejournal.com]

video

[satellitemecha.livejournal.com]

[occ; oh, america, all of your posts do amuse me so. no, srsly, i lold.]

...Why are you dressed as Mickey Mouse?

video

[starspangledhero]

[ dklasrwea I'M GLAD TO AMUSE ;w; ♥ ]

The cleaning supplies came to life and I thought, hey, it's like that little short with Mickey Mouse where the brooms and everything are doing stuff for him, but then I forgot that it horribly backfired and Merlin had to come help but Merlin isn't here so I'M STUCK WITH EVIL BROOMS!

video

[satellitemecha.livejournal.com]

I'm... sorry?

{It's obvious from the video that the cleaning supplys have not yet been able to get into his appartment.}

video

[starspangledhero]

It's okay, I have guns!

[ firing at some random equipment. shooting things always helps right. ]

video

[satellitemecha.livejournal.com]

...Good luck, then.

[video]

[sceptered-isle.livejournal.com]

Who is 'Mickey Mouse?' And what kind of spell is that?

[He's honestly curious. It seems like it could be useful with a bit of work..]

[video]

[starspangledhero]

Mickey Mouse, you know, the Disney character? ...Oh yeah you're from the stone age, you don't even know me yet.

[ currently being VIGOROUSLY SCRUBBED and looking very unamused. ]

I dunno, but I want it to stop.

Re: [video]

[sceptered-isle.livejournal.com]

......

[Well he has no idea what America is talking about, but he can try to offer advice.]

Then why don't you ask the person who cast incantation to end it?

[video]

[starspangledhero]

I have no idea who did it!

[ angrily throwing things away from his person. ]

You know, a week ago, I didn't even think magic--like, magic magic--was real, and then I was all excited and then I thought it could exist because Mickey Mouse did this in that one movie, and then I was all excited, and then I remembered that it didn't work out for Mickey but I remembered too late and now-- this!

Re: [video]

[sceptered-isle.livejournal.com]

But why would anyone cast a spell like that without telling you?

.......

Did you insult any wizards? Maybe telling them that their magic wasn't real?

[subshiki.livejournal.com]

Your embassy?

[starspangledhero]

The one on Marshall Street that now has hot water.

[subshiki.livejournal.com]

...You mean our apartment building?

[starspangledhero]

That's the one.

[subshiki.livejournal.com]

That's good news.