[video] in which America will prove that he's right and YOU ARE WRONG

[starspangledhero]

[ Something is amiss in Hetalialand. If you thought Italy!Japan was odd, you're in for something else tonight. Instead of America's usual bomber jacket/hippie clothes/nudity, he's actually cleaned himself up. The horrendous bowl cut is slicked back to be less... awful, he's clean-shaven, and he's managed to patch together a semi-respectable navy blue suit. (Kinda like the icon but way more dusty/moth-eaten/DAMN IT DISCEDO RUINS EVERYTHING AND HE'S TRYING.) Also, red bow tie. Of course. There is nothing to be done about the cowlick. Oh, and the bandages are gone yay! All that's left is a bruise around his left eye.

America had currently set the communicator aside to finish fixing his hair in the mirror. Even his apartment is cleaned up what the hell have you done to him, Japan. ]

Japan's love life aside, there's still a lot of other work to be done to Discedo. Things to be mended, repaired, restored, removed, explored. And I hope you know all know that I fully intend to do all that. As much as is possible for a world power, anyway, though I have to say that's a lot to look forward to!

[ He finishes combing his hair and, to the side of the screen, effortless hoists a washing machine onto his shoulder and moves it off-screen. Walking back over: ]

Doctor Whoever You Are, whenever you're free, I'd very much appreciate any help with this. I can move them all to the basement no problem, but I'm afraid I'm a bit lost when it comes to piping and repairs. Still, I'll do all I can!

In the mean time... I've decided to take everyone's advice and give myself a night off. I've already worked myself to death once; it wouldn't do anyone a favor to repeat that. Not when there's so much left to do!

Anyone is welcome to join me for a drink, or just to hang out-- er, socialize. Whatever. Point is, company's welcome. Otherwise I guess I'll... go fight my way through the library and hope they have one of my writers. Or something sci-fi!

[ America grins, winks at the camera, and bows slightly before moving to shut it off. Blame Japan. BLAME THE COMMUNISTS TOO IF YOU'D LIKE. ]

Comments

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

There is something wrong about this situation, and whatever it is, it's making me feel queasy.

[starspangledhero]

Uh. Want me to make you some tea?

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

I don't drink coffee.

[starspangledhero]

I said tea.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

You obviously meant to say coffee, so I corrected it for you.

You don't drink tea, and even if you did, I still wouldn't accept it from you because it would be nothing more than piss water.

[starspangledhero]

You thought it was fine when I made it when I was a colony!

[ Ohshit he probably wasn't supposed to say that. COUGH. ]

Sorry-- pardon. Is there anything else I could do to help your stomach problems?

1/2

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

The circumstances were completely different back then. You were young, you were willing to learn, and you were actually listened when I explained the necessity of pouring milk before tea.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

... you could tell me what's wrong.

[starspangledhero]

[ long, long pause. ]

I'd be willing to try again, if you'd explain it again.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

[ shuffling around. this is so silly ]

It's important to put the milk in the cup before you pour in the tea. If you pour milk into the tea, you'll only scald it.

[starspangledhero]

I'll keep that in mind. I don't have any fresh milk on hand, but... I'll remember for the future.

[ awkward, lame finish. ]

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

I'm very glad to hear that.

[ SUCH A STIFF CONVERSATION ]

Oh, and never ever reuse boiled water. It loses oxidation, and you'll be stuck with a nasty pot of tea that even a bum would turn down.

[starspangledhero]

[ AMERICA'S GETTING BORED TRYING TO KEEP THIS CONVERSATION GOING. But he prevails. Because he's the TEAM CAPTAIN. ]

Right. Best to uh, use that for. Watering house plants or something.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

I'd recommend a Japanese peace lily. They're quite lovely.

[ AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ]

What are you playing at, Alfred?

[starspangledhero]

[ He opens his mouth to ask "What do you mean" but NO. WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY etc ]

Nothing.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

You're not in trouble, are you? You didn't kill anyone on accident and you're not hiding from the police or anything like that?

[ ... ] You're not hiding a bastard, are you?

[starspangledhero]

Seems rather useless considering people come back here and many of my citizens in the area are lawyers.

No, England, the only kid I've got is Namine. You've met her. And even though she doesn't have a mom, she's certainly not a bastard.

1/3

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

[ ... ]

You said rather.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

[ brb England's running out to stick his head under running water for a second. you probably can hear the running water in the background and England's bounding footsteps ]

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

All I know for certain is that I'm certainly not asleep.

You haven't gone back in time, have you?

[starspangledhero]

[ not. even. going to ask. ]

The year is 1969. It's nice that you can remember that I didn't spend the entire 19th century exploring trails and gun-slinging. Or, at least, have faith that I didn't.

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

Oi, don't make it sound as if I kept tabs on all your activities during the nineteenth century; I had far better things to do.

[starspangledhero]

I know you did. [ and yet, he sounds amused. ]

[mygodmyright.livejournal.com]

Don't act like you know me, pillock.

[ THE FACT AMERICA ISN'T ARGUING BACK MAKES ENGLAND EVEN ANGRIER THAN IF HE DID, HILARIOUSLY ]

[starspangledhero]

Alright. I shouldn't have assumed.

[ THAT'S KINDA HOW ALL THIS GOT STARTED, ENGLAND. ]