[video] in which America will prove that he's right and YOU ARE WRONG

[starspangledhero]

[ Something is amiss in Hetalialand. If you thought Italy!Japan was odd, you're in for something else tonight. Instead of America's usual bomber jacket/hippie clothes/nudity, he's actually cleaned himself up. The horrendous bowl cut is slicked back to be less... awful, he's clean-shaven, and he's managed to patch together a semi-respectable navy blue suit. (Kinda like the icon but way more dusty/moth-eaten/DAMN IT DISCEDO RUINS EVERYTHING AND HE'S TRYING.) Also, red bow tie. Of course. There is nothing to be done about the cowlick. Oh, and the bandages are gone yay! All that's left is a bruise around his left eye.

America had currently set the communicator aside to finish fixing his hair in the mirror. Even his apartment is cleaned up what the hell have you done to him, Japan. ]

Japan's love life aside, there's still a lot of other work to be done to Discedo. Things to be mended, repaired, restored, removed, explored. And I hope you know all know that I fully intend to do all that. As much as is possible for a world power, anyway, though I have to say that's a lot to look forward to!

[ He finishes combing his hair and, to the side of the screen, effortless hoists a washing machine onto his shoulder and moves it off-screen. Walking back over: ]

Doctor Whoever You Are, whenever you're free, I'd very much appreciate any help with this. I can move them all to the basement no problem, but I'm afraid I'm a bit lost when it comes to piping and repairs. Still, I'll do all I can!

In the mean time... I've decided to take everyone's advice and give myself a night off. I've already worked myself to death once; it wouldn't do anyone a favor to repeat that. Not when there's so much left to do!

Anyone is welcome to join me for a drink, or just to hang out-- er, socialize. Whatever. Point is, company's welcome. Otherwise I guess I'll... go fight my way through the library and hope they have one of my writers. Or something sci-fi!

[ America grins, winks at the camera, and bows slightly before moving to shut it off. Blame Japan. BLAME THE COMMUNISTS TOO IF YOU'D LIKE. ]

Comments

[kongeriget]

YER DYING!

[starspangledhero]

I'm not dying!

[kongeriget]

YA TOTALLY ARE!

[starspangledhero]

I'M NOT!

[kongeriget]

DON'T LIE TO ME, IT'S NEURO-SYPHILIS!

[starspangledhero]

...What?

[kongeriget]

Ya have syphilis in yer brain and so yer acting weird and dying.

[starspangledhero]

Denmark, I don't have syphilis.

[kongeriget]

Ya just don't realize it because yer comprehension... brain thing has been eaten.

[starspangledhero]

Where would I get syphilis?! I haven't had sex in over a year! And... I died, kinda, doesn't that mean I've been rehymenated or whatever?

[kongeriget]

Nope. It can lie dormant for years and years, eating at yer brain, and then, pow. Also maybe ya sat on a dirty toilet seat.

[starspangledhero]

I'm pretty sure I don't have syphilis. [ SURELY THE ARSENIC/LEAD/MERCURY COMBO DURING THE CIVIL WAR WOULD'VE KILLED IT.

...actually I'm pretty sure mercury would be an effective treatment if it wasn't. You know. Deadly. ]

[kongeriget]

Again, yer wrong. And dying of it. In yer brain. That's why yer acting like a moron.

[starspangledhero]

I'm not--! Okay, I'll tell you what's up, but you have to keep it a secret! If anyone else knows, it'll ruin it!

[kongeriget]

...





Okay!

[starspangledhero]

Swear you'll keep it a secret!

[ LOCKED 20% YEAHHH ]

[kongeriget]

I swear on the grave of Hans Christian Andersen.




Look, I even know how to lock things now!

[ LOCKED 20% YEAHHH AWESOME LOCK ]

[starspangledhero]

Alright!

[ And back to normal chatty mode: ] So remember I went over to Japan's place, right? We had this really weird conversation about England! China kinda too but that wasn't as important as the me-and-England part. Mostly about how England's acting weird and he said he doesn't know me! That's his own fault, it's not like he ever asks me anything, but Japan was like "it has to be a team effort" and if it's a team effort obviously I'm the Team Captain! And I don't remember what we said next, but Japan said something about "reading the atmosphere" and it sounds like a really cool super power, but obviously with any great power comes great responsibility, Spiderman said so, and I've gotta use it wisely. And Japan was like "I bet you'd be charming" and I read the atmosphere and figured, you know, Japan and England and Miles and all them don't think I can be a charming gentleman.

So I'm proving them wrong because I always rise to a challenge!

[ LOCKED 20% THE *BEST* LOCK ] 1/3

[kongeriget]

Oh.

[ LOCKED 20% ]

[kongeriget]

[ LOCKED 20% ]

[kongeriget]

Are ya trying to get with England or something, 'cause, I gotta be honest, that's kinda weird.

[ LOCKED 20% ] ALSO I LIED 4/5

[kongeriget]

... Charming gentleman...

[ LOCKED 20% ]

[kongeriget]

... Wait, wait! Ya went to Japan's place?

1/2 [ LOCKED 20% ]

[starspangledhero]

NO.

I don't wanna be with another nation! I just wanna prove them wrong!

[ LOCKED 20% ]

[starspangledhero]

Yeah? For like, a half hour. He gave me coffee.